


Until We Go Down

by ShadowJaySmith



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: AU, F/M, KaraMel, SuperValor, inspired by the new 2x09 promos, ish
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-15
Updated: 2017-05-24
Packaged: 2018-09-17 18:56:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 36,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9338552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowJaySmith/pseuds/ShadowJaySmith
Summary: AU~ Mon-El awakens after escaping Daxam to find himself fighting for his life on a world where aliens battle in a gladiator-like arena as spectators watch and bet on the matches. To survive, he'll have to learn fast, and trust someone from a planet he'd never dreamt of trusting before. (Karamel/Kara x Mon-El)





	1. Birds Flying High

    Lights shown above him, but he couldn't bring himself to open his eyes fully. They were bright and blue. Voices hovered around him, and a needle pricked his arm.

    "He's ready." Someone said firmly above him, and the needle was pulled out.

    He vaguely saw a vial of his blood being handed to someone. His bed began to roll.

    "Who's this?" Someone said above him and another voice answered,

    "Mon-El of Daxam," the second person said, "he's going up next."

    "Okay, take him to holding room two." He began to roll again.

    The ground was rough, uneven and jerking him awake. He blinked.

    "Where--" he slurred, trying to force himself awake, "-- _Where am I?_ "

    Nobody answered him; it was as though he hadn't said anything. They stopped the cart and sat him up, tightening the restraints on his wrists. They pushed him to his feet and then shoved him in the direction they wanted him to go. He stumbled forwards and fell against a hard, rock wall, his head just missing a stalactite. He heard a noise like heavy grates grinding behind him. He turned and saw men pulling closed a door made from crude rock bars like an archaic prison.

    "Hey!" He said, tripping over and grabbing the bars as they stepped back and stood still, " _Hey!_ _Let me out of here!_ "

    They didn't answer him, and suddenly, he heard another noise behind him. He turned to see the back of his cell lifting slowly. He clenched his fists inside his cuffs, and took a step carefully forwards. Light fell onto the cave's floor, igniting the dirt. Wind brushed him, and he breathed in air that didn't smell like rock and mildew. His heart began to beat faster in his chest, and he wondered if it was all a weird, mildly unpleasant dream.

    He bent down and walked out into an arena, open air above him. He was separated from the sky by a purple dome high above his head. Heavy noise filled the air around him. He looked up and saw hoards of people screaming from seats; spectators looking as though they were ready for a show.

    He _really_ hoped this was a dream.

    Suddenly, another door opened, directly across from him. He flinched back and his heartbeat rose again. They didn't hurry out like he had, they waited patiently for the space to open fully before they stepped out into the light. A tall, dusty, red boot-clad woman took a calm step forwards, onto the burnt dirt beneath her. She wore black tights, that must have once looked pristine were ripped practically to shreds, a prim red skirt that was worn at the edges, and a cape that was in tatters. She had beautiful blonde hair that was tangled and clear, porcelain cheeks that were marked with dirt and sweat.

    Blue eyes that had probably once looked clear as water looked hard and unyielding, and the glyph on her chest was tarnished with blood. She was a Kryptonian. But how? They were all dead; their planet had burned, and his along with it. He'd watched it-- _felt_ it as it happened. She walked towards him purposefully. Her face was set; she already knew where she was going and what she had to do. He wished he had such clarity.

    He followed her to the center of the ring, where a man with green skin and red barbs took off her handcuffs. She never took her eyes off of Mon-El, and he couldn't look away, even as the alien took off his.

    "What's happening?" He breathed, and she swallowed, looking away from him for the first time, "Where am I?"

    She turned to the alien, "I can't do this."

    "Do what?" Mon-El asked and they ignored him.

    "You have to." The man replied and she glanced at Mon-El and back to the man who seemed to be in charge. "You know the rules."

    "Look at him," she said urgently, "he has no idea what he's doing, I can't be his first opponent."

 _"'Opponent?'"_ Mon-el repeated, and they ignored him again.

    "I'm sorry." The alien said, giving the Kryptonian one last look before walking out of the ring.

    Mon-El looked up at the Kryptonian woman, who stared back at him sadly. "What is happening?" He said, his voice quivering.

    "I--" She began.

    "-- _Welcome!_ " A voice boomed above their heads, making them both jump and look up. " _Tonight, we have a special treat for you!_ "

    The crowd cheered. " _The last woman of Krypton, the girl of steel, the Earth's_ saviour," The woman announcing said the word as though it were untrue, and Mon-El watched the Kryptonian's face fall further, " _Supergirl!_ "

    She turned to the crowd and looked around bravely, and they roared her name. He watched in awe as they screamed and bellowed, and the announcer spoke again. Supergirl swallowed and then turned to look at the ground.

    " _Versus, the last of her sister planet, the prince of Daxam, playboy of the universe,_ " He scrunched his nose and looked up at that last part, and she continued, " _Valor._ "

    The crowd hissed and booed, something hitting him in the back of the head. He looked up indignantly, " _Hey!_ " he scowled, but no one noticed him.

    Supergirl looked up at Mon-El, and he blinked. " _Go to your corners!_ " The woman said, and Supergirl began to back away from him. He did the same, their eyes never parting. " _FIGHT!_ "

    He blinked, his head jerking up to look at the stands. " _What?!_ " He bellowed.

    Supergirl suddenly slammed into him, pushing him against the arena's wall. It knocked the air out of his chest. She fisted the front of his shirt and, with one hand, threw him over her shoulder. He skidded across the dirt, landing on his side. He looked up and saw her descending upon him like she'd flown up into the air. He rolled out of the way and felt her punch as it reverberated around in the ground. She kicked him in the spine, and he screamed out in pain.

    He couldn't see her face, but she flinched harshly when he let out that noise. He scrambled to his feet and suddenly found himself far from where she stood. He blinked, and looked back at the dust settling in his wake. He thought he'd only taken a _step_ , not a hundred. He looked up to her and found an astonished expression that mirrored his. She clenched her fists at her sides and bit the inside of her cheek.

    She marched towards him and he put his fists up. He ran towards her, and she dove up into the air, high above his head. He crashed into the opposite wall of the arena and winced. He groaned loudly and held his shoulder. She landed in front of him and backhanded his cheek. He tasted blood on his tongue. He spat it out. His eyes moved from his scarlet saliva on the sand to meet hers once more.

    He lifted his knee to kick her but she caught it. His eyes widened with fear, and in her chest, a small piece of her heart shattered. She threw him to the side, and he landed, sprawled out on his back.

    He could hardly breathe, his head felt heavy. He tried to sit up, but he couldn't catch his breath. He closed his eyes and choked on air that wasn't there and dirt on his tongue. He tasted salt and his head ached. He couldn't keep going, he felt like he was going to implode. But he couldn't give up; he was the last Daxamite--the _prince_ of his planet. He couldn't go down at the hands of a Kryptonian, not like this.

    Supergirl floated in front of the sun, her silhouette casting shadows on the ring below her. He could hear the crowd chanting, " _Finish him! Finish him!_ " He tried to sit up, but she was stronger than he would ever be. She dropped down from the heavens, and pressed a hand to his chest, forcing him back to the ground.

    Her blonde hair hung around their faces, and her blue eyes looked deeply into his, "Stay down, Daxamite." She said, her voice barely audible.

    She lifted her fist, and he watched it fall to meet his face with a fury he'd never known. She hit him, again and again; so many times he lost count. He felt the hot Kryptonian blood from her knuckles mixing with the cold Daxamite plasma from his cheeks. She threw a punch more powerful and desperate than all the ones before, and suddenly lost her balance, falling forwards. She rested her head on his chest and her body shuddered above him.

    Her hair stuck to his soaked skin, and her breath warmed his sternum. He coughed and more blood sprayed into the air, falling back down onto his face. She looked up at him and he forced his eyes open. It hurt like hell; the sunlight and the bruises made lifting his eyelids feel like hardest thing he'd ever done.

    He looked into those firm blue eyes. She stared right back at him. Her eyes were crystalline, and his were bleary.

    "I'm done," he choked, blood splattering across her cheeks. She flinched, closing her eyes and then opening them again, staring at him, "I'm done..."

    "It's okay," she nodded, and he shook his head, unable to answer her,

    "I can't..." He choked again and she closed her eyes, shielding them from the blood.

    "Just breathe," she said gently, "let yourself go to sleep, you need to rest."

    He shook his head, "I have to get out of here--"

    "--Right now," she interrupted him, gripping the front of his shirt harder, "you need to rest."

    He was so tired. He nodded slowly and she stood up. Suddenly, she wasn't touching him anymore. His skin felt empty and weightless. A loud bell rang, echoing around the stadium. He turned his head and watched her lift her hands victoriously above her head, the crowd cheering her name, as the world faded to black.

    " _Supergirl! Supergirl!_ "

* * *

    Mon-El awoke in a new cell. He sat up on the hard bed he'd been laying on and looked around. He was alone, here in the dark. The world began to spin; he'd gotten up too fast. He put his head in his hand and groaned. Lights flickered on, and he saw that his cage was adjacent to another.

    He grabbed the bars that separated them, and peered through. The Kryptonian sat on the other side of her cell, leaning against the rock wall and facing him. She sat with her knees up, resting her forearms on them and rolling a small piece of stone around in her hands. The blood he'd coughed on to her was smudged across her face like war paint.

    "How do you feel." She asked with gentle pointedness.

    He closed his eyes and gripped the roots of his hair, another wave of vertigo overcoming him, "Dizzy."

    She nodded, "Just stay still, you'll be fine."

    Everything slowed down, and he opened his eyes carefully. He looked up at the lights and held out his hand, feeling the warmth on his skin. He sighed and closed his eyes, smiling.

    "Yellow sun lamps." She said.

    "What?" he managed to say, his voice hoarse.

    She pointed to the lights above them, "They heal us faster."

    "Wha--" he shook his head, "--where are we?"

    She shrugged nonchalantly, "Don't know."

    "How are you--" he looked her up and down and her eyes flickered up to meet his, "-- _how are you alive?_ "

    "I could ask you the same, _Prince of Daxam_." She said mockingly and his face hardened.

    "Would it hurt one of you to be the least bit polite _for once?_ " He said venomously.

    She didn't answer that, and her face didn't change, but he knew that somewhere inside her it had resonated. She looked back down at the stone. She threw it up in the air, and suddenly, out of her eyes shot lasers that incinerated the small piece of rock. He jumped back, stumbling off his bed and onto the floor.

    She stood quickly and ran over, kneeling on her bed and looking at him, "Are you alright?"

    "Who _are_ you?" He breathed, looking up at her in awe.

    She leaned her back against the bars that separated them, and slipped down so she was sitting. "I'm Supergirl." She said brokenheartedly. He clambered back up onto the mattress and gripped the bars next to her, watching her profile.

    "But you're..." he swallowed and she looked at him, "...How do you have these powers?"

    She swallowed and turned back forwards, "This planet orbits a yellow sun, much like where I grew up. This gives us the powers we have."

    " _We?_ " He said, "But, Krypton and Daxam didn't orbit a yellow sun--"

    "--My parents sent me in a pod off Krypton just before it exploded. I grew up on another planet, called Earth."

    "Earth?" He repeated and she nodded solemnly.

    "I was taken from there, and brought here against my will." She said.

    He turned, sitting back against the bars next to her and thought. "I have no idea how I got here." He breathed.

    "What do you mean?" She glanced over at him, and his mind began to spin faster and faster.

    "The last thing I remember is being sent away from Daxam," he said, "and watching my home burn."

    She looked down at her hands and nodded. "Makes sense."

    He looked over at her, "What do you mean?"

    "You were probably asleep, maybe somewhere like the Well of Stars where time doesn't pass," she said, "and they found your pod there."

    "Who?" He asked.

    "What do you mean?" She looked at him.

    " _Who_ found me-- _took_ you?" He said and she swallowed.

    "I don't know who they are." She said, "I only know who their front-woman is."

    "Who?"

    "She calls herself Roulette." She said, "She comes from Earth too. She's the one who thinks of the names and announces the fights."

    "What do they want from us?" He asked after a moment.

    "They want us to fight." She said, "They want us to fight, and die, and bet on when it'll happen."

    His eyes widened and he swallowed. He turned away and looked at the wall opposite him. They sat like that for a long moment, before she spoke again,

    "The name they gave me on Krypton was Kara Zor-El." She said softly.

    He looked over at her, "I'm Mon-El."

    They stared into each other's blue eyes for a long moment and she smiled with sad reassurance, "You're going to get through this, Mon-El." she said. "I'm going to make sure of it."

    He looked at her, and he knew, she was telling the truth.


	2. Lose It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to Lina, CaptainCanary45, FangirlintheForest, Icylightning, harcourt and the guest who left the lovely comments on chapter one and to all of you for reading and leaving kudos :)

    Three days, and four nights passed, and they barely spoke. She shed her cape the evening they'd met, and it laid on her bed. He sat on his and looked at it. He leaned against the wall he rested his pillow on and stared at it, as if waiting for it to impart wisdom. For some reason, it filled him with hope. He didn't know why, but being around her made this not feel so hard; like he wasn't alone.

    Alone.

    When he thought of that word, he thought of all the people he'd left behind, all the people who'd died on his homeworld. He wondered, why was he the last?

    " _One-thousand six-hundred and fifty._ " Kara groaned, as she lifted herself, one-handed off the ground.

    He looked over as her as she fell to the floor again. She rolled onto her back and closed her eyes, holding her head in her hand. She glances sideways, up at him. They stayed there for a long moment until she looked away, standing up.

    "Get up." She said.

    "What?"

    " _Get up_." She said, and he complied slowly. "Take off those shoes, they're pointless."

    "They're comfortable," he said defensively and she shook her head,

    "But they won't help you." She said and he took a moment. He sighed and did as he was told.

    She squatted down and looked at him expectantly, clasping her hands in front of her. He followed reluctantly, getting down low and holding his hands in front of him.

    "Stay like this for ten," she counted down slowly to one, and he closed his eyes, trying to keep himself from shaking. "Three, two, one."

    He sighed and stood quickly. She let out her breath calmly and straightened slowly. "Get down and do push-ups."

    He sighed and followed her instructions. She sat down on her bed and sat cross-legged. "On this planet, we have special skills, ones we didn't have on our homeworlds."

    He lifted himself from the floor and let out a gust of air, blowing some dust around. "We have an advantage over most of the other players, who rely primarily on their strength and agility and the physical attributes of their species."

    " _Thirty_ ," he hissed, bringing himself up from the ground again.

    "Now, we have no idea exactly what this sun gives you, but we know it makes you stronger, and a hell of a lot faster." He nodded and she continued, "Until you know what you can do, use those two to your advantage."

    He nodded and said, " _Forty_."

    "The key to staying alive is mastering those powers so that's what we're going to focus on first."

    " _Fifty_ ," he said, holding himself up as he spoke next, "but what about when I have to fight now? Before I've gotten a good grip on them? "

    She thought for a moment, "I'm gonna teach you."

    He stopped and looked up at her, "Really?"

    She nodded, "They don't care if you die in there, as long as they make a profit off of it." She said darkly, "So I'm gonna teach you how to throw a punch."

    She made him do fifty more push-ups and then she let him stand. She pulled off her boots as he caught his breath, and then stood to face him. He yanked his torn red shirt over his head, using it to wipe the sweat off his face. He sighed and then threw it down onto the bed.

    "When you're fighting someone who's much bigger or stronger than you, you have to use their weight against them." She said, ignoring the shirt.

    "Like when you threw me over your shoulder and all the way across the ring." He smirked and she laughed.

    "Yes, exactly like that." She beamed and he watched her, enraptured.

    "You have a nice laugh," he said and she looked up at him, a soft smile playing on her lips.

    "Thanks," She said, looking down and smiling. He could've sworn that beneath all the grime, she'd blushed a bit.

    "Anyways," She said, "when you're fighting, you need to have a strong stance. Show me yours."

    He put up his fists and she shook her head, "Spread your feet apart more, put your dominant foot back, yeah, like that, and raise your hands a bit."

    He complied, "You want to keep them right near your temples," she demonstrated and he copied, "and you want to bring them right back here after you throw a punch."

    He nodded. "There are three kinds of punches," she turned sideways and he watched carefully.

    "There's the jab-cross," she punched first with her left hand followed quickly by her right, bringing them faithfully back up to her face, "always bring them back to protect your face."

    He nodded, "Mhm."

    "The uppercut," She curled her arm and punched upwards into the stomach of her imaginary opponent and he copied her movements slowly.

    "And the head-hook." She lifted her arm up so it was near her temple, and hit the air right in the side of the head. She held her hand there for a moment, "You always want to keep your forearm level with your shoulder, otherwise it won't have as much power."

    He nodded and tried it. She smiled, "Yeah, like that."

    He did all three of them in a row, alternating hands as she watched. "Nice," she said, "you're doing great."

    "How'd you learn all this stuff?" He said, and she smiled to herself.

    "My sister taught me." She said and he blinked,

    "Your sister survived the death of Krypton too?"

    "Oh, no," she shook her head, "my Earth sister; I had no siblings on Krypton."

    "Oh." He frowned, "so your parents sent you to Earth without knowing anyone there?"

    "They sent me there to protect my cousin," she said, "but my pod got knocked off-course and I spent years floating in space, never ageing and never waking. I landed on Earth years too late."

    "Oh," he said, his face falling, "I'm sorry."

    She smiled, "It's alright, it's not _your_ fault."

    "Well," he shrugged sheepishly, "it's still too bad."

    She nodded, "But I got to grow up with an amazing family, and a sister who taught me how to defend myself."

    He smiled and she reflected his face back at him. "But anyways!" She clapped her hands together, "Let's continue."

    "Right." he nodded, getting into his fighter's stance.

    "Try doing a jab-cross against that wall." She smirked.

    He looked from her to the rough stone surface back to her, "You're kidding right?"

    She shook her head, "Just do it."

    "Won't it," he frowned, "hurt?"

    "You need to practice." She said, "Just try it."

    He squared up with the wall. "Put all the power you used when you were hitting air and send it straight through that wall."

    He shrugged and thought " _what the hell_ " and did as she asked. His fist made impact against the wall. Stone and rubble flew everywhere, spraying them both and making him cough. He waved the dust away from his face and saw that he'd punched a hole right through the rock, behind which was a metal plate.

    He turned to her excitedly and she smiled, "You're capable of much more than you think you are."

    He turned back to the wall and hit the metal with all his might. His fist bounced off and he stumbled backwards, "But there's always a limit to power." She said.

    He looked up at her from where he'd fallen to the ground. " _Always._ " She said firmly.

    "Got it." he nodded, pulling himself to his feet.

    "Try again." She said gently and he pulled his eyes away from her, punching the air again.

* * *

    He rolled over on his bed to face her, and didn't hear her soft snores. He opened his eyes blearily and looked up. Sometimes, she liked to sit on her bed, facing away from him, cape draped around her shoulders like a blanket to think. Or, at least, that's what he thought she was doing. He couldn't really be sure. In any case, this was not one of those nights. She wasn't in her room.

    He sat up quickly and threw himself against the door to his cell, looking in between the bars at the hallway outside their cages.

    " _Hey!_ " he yelled, " _HEY!_ "

    He found a camera pointed at him and he looked directly into it. " _Where is she?! WHERE DID YOU TAKE HER?!_ "

    He screamed his lungs out for what felt like hours. " _WHERE IS SHE?!_ "

    Eventually, he got so tired, all he could manage was her name, called over and over like a prayer to a tyrannical god bent on ignoring his wishes until he stooped down and begged.

    He took a long moment to catch his breath. He slumped against the bars with one arm hanging out and his forehead pressed against the cool metal.

    " _Kara,_ " his voice cracked, and he closed his eyes. " _Where are you?_ " he breathed.

    Suddenly, the door at the end of the corridor burst open. He jumped up, "Kara?" he called, as two men walked in, dragging someone between them. " _Kara!_ "

    They opened her cell and she tried to lift her chin to look at him, but she was too weak. Her head lolled forward onto her collarbone, and the guards threw her onto the hard floor of her cage. Mon-El banged against the bars that separated them, and called out to her again.

    "Kara?" he said urgently, and she didn't move, " _Kara!_ "

    She pushed herself up onto her hands, and the door at the end of the hall closed with a _bang_. She knelt on the ground and pressed her forehead to the floor. She breathed slowly and he watched her.

    "Kara," he said, " _Kara_ , look at me."

    She closed her eyes and shook her head wordlessly. "Come on, Kara," he coaxed, "please."

    She took a shaky breath and pushed herself up. It looked like it took everything she had. She pulled herself onto the bed and leaned against the bar next to him.

    "Kara?" He breathed and she didn't move.

    Her silhouette was perfectly still. They were motionless except for the rising and falling of their chests. They stayed there for a long time. Above them, the sun lamps flickered to life. Mon-El looked up at her face and his breath hitched in his throat. She had dirt and matted hair around the edge of her head like a sick crown. She had two new holes in her shirt, one on her shoulder and the other on her ribs. Blue blood streaked down her face, staining the Kryptonian glyph on her chest.

    His eyes moved down to see her hands. They were in her lap, resting as if they couldn't bare to move on their own. They were soaked in the same blue blood, dripping onto her skirt. Her fingers shook ever so slightly, and he could see one drop of Kryptonian plasma slipping down her fourth finger.

    She stared at the wall of her cell that was opposite the door. He stooped down and picked his shirt up off the ground. He walked over to the crude faucet in the corner of his cage, and turned it on, wetting the fabric carefully. He shuffled back over to her and stuck his arms through the bars, capturing her hands gently and pulling them from her room into his.

    Her eyes moved for the first time, looking up at him confusedly. He didn't return her stare, only rested her hands on his knees. He picked up one and she let him, watching his face as he began to wipe the blood off her hands.

    She sighed and rested her temple against a bar. She couldn't take her eyes off of him. He was so careful, so tentative. For years, the only thing she'd touched was the skin of the people she broke. Touching him was like touching a life she'd had before.

    "You know what I was on my planet?" She croaked, and he glanced up at her.

    "What?" He looked back down at her hand and continued his work.

    "A hero." She said, her eyes welling up slightly. "Where I came from, I spent my days saving lives, and protecting people."

    He paused and looked up at her, but she looked down at their hands. "Now all I do is hurt people."

    He wanted to say something, but he didn't know how.

    "I'm a monster." She said, her voice cracking. She put her head in her free hand and let out a sob; he could tell she'd been holding it in for a while.

    "Kara," he said, pulling her hand away from her face, "no you're not."

    She sniffed, and he raised his shirt, putting his arm through the bars and wiping off the blood she'd smudged across her forehead. She watched him in awe, as if she couldn't believe he were showing her such kindness; as if she didn't think she deserved it. He brought his shirt back through the bars and pretended like he couldn't see that expression on her face.

    "You know," he said, beginning to work again, "On my planet? I was no one."

    "That's not true--" She began, but he interrupted.

    "--No, really." He said, "I was the Prince, sure, but I didn't do anything."

    He switched and moved to her other hand, "I spent my days partying and ignoring my parent's teachings. I didn't want to be king, I didn't want to marry the woman they'd arranged for me, I didn't want to step up."

    "That doesn't make you a bad person," She said gently.

    "I didn't perform my duties as prince," he said, "I'd say that makes me less of a man than most."

    She blinked and watched him as he swallowed, "I didn't deserve to survive the death of Daxam--"

    "--Don't say that." She said suddenly and he looked up into those deep, blue eyes, finding it hard to pull away. "Don't ever say that."

    "You have so much more time, Mon-El. Just because you haven't done anything you're proud of yet doesn't mean that you'll _never_ do anything honorable."

    He looked at her, and he wanted to believe her. He wanted to follow her to the ends of the world, to do something worthwhile by her side.

    "I hope so." He said simply, pulling himself away from her eyes and looking back down at her hands.


	3. Bone + Tissue

    "When someone grabs you from behind," Kara said, wrapping her arms around her own waist and bending over slightly, "the best way to get out is to use your elbows."

    She stayed bent over and patted the crook of her arm. "Go for the stomach and the eyes."

    He got lower and nodded, listening avidly. He elbowed the air just behind his head and she smiled. "Yeah," she said. "Really all you need now is to practice on a real opponent."

    "Right." he nodded solemnly.

    "It's all looking really good," she said quickly, trying to reassure him, "but once you go in there... Well, any number of things can go wrong."

    Suddenly, the door at the end of the hall opened. They both turned and saw a group of men walking down the hall, lead by two guards. One stopped in front of each of their cells. The one in front of Kara's cell was named Dave, and the one in front of his was Dan (Mon-El had named them ages ago). Dan dropped a shirt down on the ground of Mon-El's cage.

    "Get dressed your highness." He hissed and Mon-El held his tongue.

    "What're you doing?" Kara said anxiously, eyeing Mon-El as he tugged the shirt over his head.

    "It's time to dance, monkey." Dave sneered and her nose twitched.

    She turned, picking her cape up off the bed, and attaching it to her shoulders. She took a deep breath as they opened her cell door. Three men went inside, two holding her arms and and one cuffing her.

    "Do we need to sedate you, or are you going to be as nice as you were last time?" Dave said and Kara sighed. He took it as a no.

    Mon-El frowned and wondered what they were talking about. Suddenly, the door to his cage opened. Mon-El hadn't realized how much he'd been aching to be free, until he could actually see a way out. He lurched forwards, but men were there to hold him back. They grabbed his arms, trying to push him to the ground.

    The two extra men on Kara left her side and helped bring him to the ground. He screamed and writhed underneath them. He fought tooth and nail, trying to make it past those bars without being held down.

    " _Mon-El!_ " Kara's voice cut through all the chaos and he turned to her. She looked at him and shook her head.

    He wasn't going to listen, but it was too late. He'd stopped struggling for only a second and that was all these highly-trained men needed. They tightened the restraints around his wrists. They forced him to his feet and pushed him out of the cell.

    He marched down the hall, listening to Kara's light footfalls behind him. He couldn't believe that after all this training she'd just told him to give up, and let them take him. He was fuming.

    They brought them to the room he'd been in before his fight against Kara. They undid the aliens' cuffs and shut the door behind them. They stood for a long moment in tense silence.

    "Quit it." She said suddenly, not looking at him.

    "Quit what? I'm not doing anything!" He said indignantly.

    "You're upset because I told you to stop resisting--"

    "--Because you told me to _let them win!_ " He snapped, turning to face her.

    "What were you going to do?" She said pointedly, looking up into his eyes evenly, "Kung-fu the crap out of them?"

    "What's 'kung-fu?'" He frowned.

    "That's not the point!" She snapped, "The point is," she calmed down a bit, "you weren't going to win, and instead of wasting your energy on it, I was trying to tell you to save it for this."

    "What _is_ this?" he asked and she sighed, facing forwards again.

    "Sometimes they like to double the stakes." She said.

    "Double the stakes?" He frowned.

    She nodded, "Two on two team battles against two opponents."

    "So we're on the same team?" he asked and she nodded.

    The door began to open and she turned to him urgently, "Mon-El," she said and he looked at her expectantly.

    "Yeah?" He asked and she swallowed.

    "Don't try and take huge risks okay?" She said, "I don't want you to get hurt."

    He blinked and felt conflicted, not wanting her to fight the whole battle for him, but he nodded. He found it best not to argue with her. They turned forwards and watched the cave wall rise. The light kissed their cheeks and the fresh air burned their lungs. Next to him, Kara closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, letting the sun--the _real_ sun--soak her skin. He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye and swallowed sadly.

    He reached down between them and laced his fingers through hers. He watched her face, and she didn't move, still relishing in the light, her skin glowing a heavenly yellow. A warm smile graced her lips, and she squeezed his hand.

    She opened her eyes and looked up at him. "Come on, Daxamite."

    He smiled and they walked out as Roulette spoke above their heads, "... _And in the other end of the ring, we have the girl of steel, and the prince of Daxam; Supergirl and Valor!_ "

    They marched out together, and she dropped his hand with one last stroke of her thumb over his index finger. The arena was different this time. There were huge boulders cutting through the floor. Mon-El and Kara looked around, finding their opponents across a no-man's land of stone and dust. Two aliens came behind them and uncuffed them, as did two people to their opponents.

    "That guy," she said, "he's Almeracian, and he likes to use the powers he was given. The K'hund," she nodded her head to the woman standing next to the Almeracian, "is really strong, but you'll be able to move faster than her and tire her out. Leave the Almeracian to me."

    He nodded, rubbing his sore wrists. She looked up at him and offered her fist. He frowned at it, and looked up at her. She rolled her eyes and lifted his arm and bumped his closed fist with hers.

    "It's called a fistbump." She said, "Earthly custom for good luck among other things."

    "Oh," he nodded, still confused.

    The bell rang above their head suddenly, Roulette bellowing, " _FIGHT!_ "

    " _Go left!_ " Kara yelled, and he obeyed.

    The Almeracian went right for Kara; they must have some unresolved business. Mon-El skidded to a halt in front of the K'hund. She looked up at him, and in her eyes, all he could see was exhaustion and misery. His face fell and she tried to hide it behind the anger in her fist.

    She swung at him, hitting air. He blurred to her six o'clock, punching her in the spine. It practically broke his hand. He groaned, holding his fist. She turned and faced him.

    "Really?" She said and he looked up at her as she shook her head. " _Mediocre_."

    She grabbed the collar of his shirt and threw him at one of the rocks. He scrambled to his feet as fast as he could, and dodged another one of her punches. She hit the rock above his head and pieces of the stone splintered everywhere. Before he knew what he was doing, he jumped up and kicked one of the rocks. It hit her squarely in the nose and his eyes widened as she stumbled back, holding her face. He could not _believe_ he'd actually succeeded at that. He felt sick.

    He went after her, uppercutting her in the stomach. She groaned in pain, and he followed by two head-hooks on either side of her skull. His fists were bruised and bleeding, and he could barely see through the pain he was holding in his eyes. She fell to the ground and he knelt over her.

    "I'm so sorry," he choked.

    She could barely open her eyes, but she nodded, "I under--" she coughed, "--I understand."

    He lifted his arm, his fist eclipsing the sun above their heads. He brought it down and hit the ground right next to her ear, covering them both on red sand. He shook his head and stumbled back, falling against the rock she'd thrown him against. He cleaned his face with the back of his hand and looked at her as she breathed slowly on the ground. He covered his mouth and tried to slow his racing pulse.

    There was this power racing through him. It turned his blood hot and rang in his ears, mimicking the sound of his heartbeat. A hatred coursed through every fiber of his being. He wiped his lip and watched as the K'hund fell unconscious. He pushed the fury from his mind, trying to ignore how much he was disgusted with himself.

    He turned away and hopped up onto the stone, searching for Kara. She had both of the Almeracian's fists trapped in her hands and she headbutted him in the nose. The Almeracian stumbled backwards and hit something. He turned to see Mon-El standing above him.

    The Daxamite lifted his hand and hit the Almeracian squarely in the jaw. Kara grabbed him and pinned him against the wall. Mon-El stood behind her and watched as she braved what appeared to be harsh words in a language Mon-El didn't recognize. The Almeracian spat in her face, and she closed her eyes. She took a deep breath and said something back to him in the language, and from her face, Mon-El could tell it was an apology. She wiped the spit off her face, and without another word, began kneeing him over and over in the stomach.

    He turned away. He looked over and, from behind the rocks, the K'hund appeared. She was dragging herself along on the ground. She couldn't see him yet, only Kara. Suddenly, the K'hund pulled a gun he'd never seen before from out of her shirt. He looked from one woman to the other and then made his choice.

    He vaulted over a boulder and jumped on top of the alien. Something that felt like compressed fire hit him right in the stomach. He felt his eyes go out of focus, and together, he and the K'hund fell to the ground, side-by-side under the unfarmiliar sun.

    Mon-El stared up into the sky, watching the purple force-field shimmer high above him.

    " _Mon-El!_ " A voice called vaguely as his eyes became unfocused. A shadow blocked the sky, and something soft brushed his cheeks. A voice sweet, and fearful called his name again, " _Mon-El? Mon-El please, stay with me--STAY WITH ME!_ "

    He wanted to do as she asked, but the darkness was so inviting, wrapping around him like a blanket.

* * *

    Mon-El wasn't in any rush to open his eyes. He couldn't feel anything, and for a hot second, he thought he was dead. He opened one eye and found an angel dozing above him. Her cape was spread over him like a blanket, and she leaned on one of the bars above him, snoring softly as if she were still on high-alert, waiting for him to wake up.

    "Kara?" he managed to say.

    She jerked awake and shook her head. "Oh my god," she said. She turned to him, "oh my god! Mon-El!"

    "Hey," he laughed, grabbing his chest and wincing.

    "Don't laugh," she said anxiously, touching the hand he had over his heart instinctively. This, of course, only made him do it again.

    "Hard not to." He said good-naturedly and she smiled.

    "I'm glad you're okay." She said after a moment.

    "Uh, I wouldn't go _that_ far." He chuckled and she laughed.

    "You scared me for a while there." She said quietly, pulling her hand away, as she looked down and swallowed.

    He blinked, staring up at this beautiful woman and realizing how deep of a bond they shared. He'd thought he was the only one relying on her, but he now saw that she needed him just as much as he needed her.

    "Hey," he stuck his hand through the bars and took hers gently in his, "you're gonna be stuck with me for a while."

    She smiled, and something inside his chest stirred. He'd never seen someone smile like she does; someone with all these weights on her shoulders, all these powers and all this blood on her hands, and she still smiled, like it was nothing. Like it didn't take energy or willpower she didn't have. When she grinned, the world suddenly fell away, everything cold and dark disappeared, and all that was left was her warmth.

    She slowly lifted their hands and began to study them. She rubbed her thumb up and down his index finger like she'd done earlier, and watched. She turned their intertwined appendages so she could look at the back of his palm. She used the pad of her little finger to trace a vein that laid underneath his skin and he watched her eyes as they followed his hands.

    "How did the K'hund get that gun anyways?" He asked and she shrugged, not looking away from their knuckles.

    "Sometimes they give one opponent more of an advantage than before just to see how it changes the fight." She said, "They bet on each round so maybe it makes it more exciting if there's a new variable. They probably gave it to her when we were talking before the bell."

    "I thought you said that the fistbump was meant to bring good luck." He smirked, making her laugh again.

    "Well, I guess I thought wrong, mojumbo." She said, smiling to herself.

    " _What?_ " He said, unable to hold back the grin.

    She laughed outright, tossing her head back. "It's a saying from Earth; when someone thinks something that turns out to be wrong then you say 'you thought wrong, mojumbo.'"

    He snorted, "That's ridiculous!" She nodded, still giggling, "Who is this 'mojumbo' anyways?"

    She shrugged, "I have no idea!" she beamed and they fell into a comfortable silence.

    "What did Dave mean when he said that they didn't have to sedate you last time?" Mon-El asked gently after a long moment, looking back up at their hands, stroking hers with his thumb.

    She rolled her eyes, still smiling slightly, "It's--it's nothing."

    "Oh, come on." He said and she looked down at him, still holding his hand.

    "I didn't want to make a big fuss like usual because..." she avoided his eyes, "...you were asleep and I didn't want to wake you up." she said quickly, shaking her head like it was dumb.

    He blinked and sat up slightly, "Really?"

    "Yeah," she rolled her eyes and tucked a hair behind her ear nervously. "Don't sit up," she said suddenly, "you'll get dizzy."

    He laid back down slowly, watching her with a light smirk. "Well," he said, "that was honorable of you but I didn't sleep for long."

    She looked up from her hands to meet his gaze. "I, uh," he swallowed, "I think I have a hard time sleeping when you're not there."

    She smiled, "You wouldn't know really since it's only happened once."

    He laughed, "That's true."

    She looked into his eyes for a long moment and he stared back. He couldn't pull away. He watched those blue orbs as she slid down on her bed. She laid on her side and stared into his eyes. She brought their hands close to her face and closed her eyes, her nose just barely touching the back of her palm.

    He exhaled shakily and scooted as close to the bars as he possibly could, so as to give her the least tension. He watched her breath even out, and slowly found himself slipping into a dark, dreamless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CaptainCanary45 <3, Sarah, Iaintnosidekick, Icylightning, and xrisapotter for leaving comments on the last chapter!! You guys are the best!! THANK YOU, THANK YOU,THANK YOUUUUUU


	4. Threnody

    Overnight, they became a sensation. He and Kara cleaned his broken knuckles, and before they were totally healed, he was thrown out into the ring again. Suddenly, he heard his name being chanted throughout the arena, and saw people throwing things at his opponents.

    The people in the stands seemed to be enjoying this. Both of them were out to perform almost every day. They were nearly unbreakable--at least, their skin was--so they could fight more than the rest. Mon-El was suddenly adored again, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that this wasn’t putting them in the favor of the men in charge. He never did see that K’hund again.

    He had taken to holding Kara’s hand whenever she was near him. Anytime he could reach her, he’d find a way to lace his fingers through hers. Her pulse was the only constant thing he knew. The touch of her thumb across his forefinger was the most soothing thing he’d ever felt. At night, she’d hand him her cape, and hold his hand until they both fell asleep. He began to wonder if it was just for his benefit anymore.

    “How come you don’t sleep with your cape anymore?” He asked softly one night.

    She blinked and looked up to meet his eyes from where she’d been studying their hands. She shrugged, “I don’t know,” she said, “maybe because you look so good in it.” She winked.

    He laughed, and she watched him, her face full of wonder. He turned back to her, smiling still. “Well, thank you.”

    She smirked, “You know, when we get out of here, you should try it.”

    “What?” he frowned.

    “Wearing one.” She said and he smiled bewilderedly.

    “Like… Like a superhero?”

    She nodded.

    “I’ve never…” He swallowed, “I’ve never seen myself as someone like you.”

    “Someone like me?” She frowned.

    “You deserve the name ‘ _Valor_ ’ I--” he shook his head, “--I don’t.”

    “I don’t see it that way at all.” She said. “You never give up. You are _so_ brave, Mon-El. You could do… _anything_ you wanted on Earth, including being a superhero.”

    He took a moment and thought about it. “What’s it like?”

    She sighed and turned over onto her back. “It’s the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done.” She said, “Every time I save someone… it’s like a little bit of their light latches onto me.”

    He cocked his head slightly and watched her, enraptured.

    She looked at him, “It makes me feel whole.”

    He smiled and she beamed back at him. Then her face fell slightly to the cynical one he was so used to. “Or at least, it used to.”

    “Something like that,” he said, “something that makes you feel _that_ wonderful isn’t just something that goes away, Kara.”

    She looked at him, and he nodded reassuringly. “I’m sure when we get home to your Earth,” he said, “you’ll feel those things again.”

    She smiled at him and closed her eyes for a long moment. “It’s beautiful there.” She said softly.

    “Yeah?” He smiled and she nodded.

    “The sunrises are… _breathtaking_.” She sighed and he beamed at her. “And _the food_ , oh my god!” She said excitedly and he laughed, “So many things that I have to show you when we get there.”

    He smiled at her and took a moment she didn’t see. He was thinking. Wondering if they’d ever get to this beautiful place. The more she talked about it, the more he yearned to see the blue skies and meet all the people in her life. They all sounded so wonderful.

    “...And then, of course, there’s Winn.” She said.

    He looked up, smirking, “What does that name mean?”

    She smiled, “It’s short for ‘Winslow.’” She said, “He’s super smart. You guys will get along.”

    “Yeah, you think?” He smiled and she nodded, “I can’t wait to meet him.”

    “I can’t wait for you to meet all of them too..” She sighed.

    “Where would I live?” He asked and she shrugged.

    “Wherever you wanted.” She smiled, “At first though, you can live with me for a bit.”

    “Really?” He grinned and she nodded.

    “Of course,” She said, “I’ve gotta teach you the ropes, right?”

    “I guess so.” He beamed. “So, what’re your Earth parents like?”

    “Kind.” She said happily, “They’re so kind. And they helped me so much. I don’t know if I…” she paused slightly, looking down, “...I don’t know if I would’ve made it all those years without them.”

    “How come?” He asked carefully.

    “When I first came to Earth I… I felt like a failure.” She said.

    “Impossible.” He said immediately, to which she smiled.

    “I didn’t fulfill my family’s dying wish. I was alone on a strange planet with a strange family and no one who could relate to me.”

    “What about your cousin?” He asked and she shrugged.

    “He was too young to take care of me, but old enough to live on his own. He became a hero before me.” She said.

    “That’s amazing,” Mon-El said, “You come from a family of heroes, it seems. Must be in your DNA.” he smirked.

    She chuckled, “Yeah I guess.”

    “What about Alex?” He asked gently, wanting to hear more and more about this amazing world she hailed from.

    “Alex.” Kara sighed, “Alex is the greatest sister anyone could ask for.”

    “Yeah?” He smiled. He liked the way she looked when she talked about Earth.

    “Yeah.” She nodded. “She’s brave, and smart, and kind… she’s a doctor too, and she also works for the government.”

    “Really? Doing what?” He asked.

    “She works for the department that deals with aliens, actually.” Kara smiled and he laughed,

    “No way.”

    “Mhm!” She beamed, “I work with her there.”

    “Is that your only job? Saving people?” He asked, wondering if he could be in anymore awe of her.

    “No, I actually work at a magazine, with my friend James--the one we talked about before.” She said and he nodded.

    “And does Alex work with you there too? Is she like you?”

    Kara smiled as if to herself, “She doesn’t have powers like me but she’s a hero. She’s a doctor, so she’s always helping people and she’s always fighting and helping me figure things out. She’s… absolutely amazing.”

    “Wow,” he breathed, “I wish I had a sibling.”

    She smiled, “Well maybe you’ll get to build your own family someday, and find a sibling for yourself there.”

    He chuckled and she smiled. She was so hopeful, so sure he was going to get everything he ever dreamed of. He wondered whether or not someone _could_ get all the things he’d been missing all his life. At least she filled one of those empty spots.

    “Is she mated to someone?” He asked and Kara shook her head.

    “No--well.” Kara stopped herself, “I guess I don’t know, do I?”

     He squeezed her hand gently and she swallowed. “How long have you been here?” He asked softly.

    “Almost… seven years I think.” She said, blinking back tears. “I mean, when I left she had a steady girlfriend.”

    “A girlfriend?”

    “Mhm,” Kara nodded, “Someone you date before you get married. On Earth, ‘mating’ is called ‘getting married.’”

    He took a moment to process this, then looked back up at her, smiling gently. “What’s her name?”

    “Her name’s Maggie.” Kara smiled, “I really liked her too.”

    Mon-El watched her sadly, and rubbed the back of her palm gently.

    “God, if I could’ve done just _one thing_ before they took me,” she sniffed, “I’d have told Alex to keep going, keep living her life; to keep pursuing things for herself.” She wiped her eye and closed them again, “The thing that keeps me up at night is thinking that maybe--” her voice cracked, “--maybe she didn’t.”

    She pulled her hand out of his and covered her face, turning over so he couldn’t see her. He whispered her name sadly to the back of her beautiful blonde head, placing one hand on her shoulder. She took a long moment and then turned back to him. She took a shaky breath and met his eyes again.

    He reached up and brushed her cheek with one hand, as if wiping off the tears she’d already brushed away. She took his other hand and brought it close to her heart. She bent down and kissed his knuckles. His breath caught in his throat. She sniffed and rested her nose gently on their intertwined fingers. He ran one finger down her hairline, tucking an imaginary strand of hair behind her ear.

    “I wish I could hug you.” He breathed.

    She smiled against his hand, “For now,” she said, looking up into his eyes, “this is enough.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this one is a bit short, but the next one is going to make up for it!! Thanks to FangirlintheForest, Lost_in_the_desert, Icylightning, Amber, xrisapotter, and ImCamBass for commenting on the last chapter! And to all of you for reading and leaving kudos :)


	5. Lovely Day

    Kara often sat on her bed late at night and thought. She'd be perfectly still, her back turned to him, with one hand still holding his, and her chin in the other. He'd wake up sometimes and watch her for a long moment, wondering why she wouldn't sleep, and then nod off again. One of those nights, just after he'd begun to doze, she awoke him.

    "Mon-El," she whispered, tugging his hand further through the bars.

    He opened his eyes, "What?" He asked drowsily.

    "Have you noticed the doors?" She asked and he frowned.

    "What?"

    " _The doors_ ," she said, "there must be hundreds of people here, maybe even thousands."

     He nodded, rubbing his eyes with his free hand, "Okay..."

    "Since they've stopped drugging us to bring us to the ring, I've been looking at them." She said excitedly and he furrowed his brow. "There are all of these people here who want to be free."

    "Right, I know, just like us." Mon-El said.

    "We should stage a prison break." She said and he looked up at her.

    "Wha--how?"

    "Simple." She said, a wicked smirk on her lips.

* * *

    The next day, Dave and Dan came into their cell block, and they put on a good show; faces sullen and eyes downcast. The guards opened the door to their hallway, and Mon-El glanced over his shoulder at Kara. Her eyes flickered up to meet his, and she smiled. His heart began to beat a bit faster.

    " _The door leading to our cells is reinforced with kryptonite, but as far as I can tell, that's the only one._ " Her words echoed in his ears as he stepped over the threshold, out into the corridor. " _There's a door that's just before the hall with a green handprint on it. The next one down is where they keep the_ _N'crons. Do you know which one I'm talking about?_ "

    He looked up and saw the entryway she'd mentioned the night before, the green blood gleaming like it was still wet. He walked past it and his whole body tensed. He looked at the next door's clean, heavy, metal. Behind him, he heard the sound of her heat vision. He and Dan turned to see the door to the N'crons' cell falling off it's melted hinges. Their guards froze, and listened, as an ominous sound floated through the air, the steam of their cold cage floating onto the floor in waves.

    Dave shoved Kara against a wall and held her still with his forearm. " _What do you think you're doing?!_ "

    Kara only gave him a strained smile, and Mon-El watched in horror as a dark shadow loomed over her attacker. Behind him, Dan gasped. Mon-El took an instinctive step back, but the guards were unable to move. Kara looked over Dave's shoulder, and watched as the N'cron became acclimated to his new surroundings. His eyes fell upon her and she smiled up at him.

    " _Go--!_ " she choked out.

    He didn't need to be told twice. He ran down the hall and this gave Kara the distraction she needed. She shoved Dave off of her and he stumbled backwards. She jumped up into the air and tucked her legs in, bringing her cuffed hands in front of her. Dave pulled out an electrified baton, and she smiled.

    "Really?" She said and he went after her.

    Mon-El looked up at Dan, and without another word, headbutted him in the nose. He jumped over his cuffed hands as well (less gracefully) and began to search his guard for the keys. He glanced up and watched Kara, the sound of chaos growing in the air around him. Her plan was working.

    The N'cron had obviously began to open more cells. They were intelligent creatures; they knew that they had a better chance of both escape and revenge if they let others out. And, with their superior strength and the fear the instilled in people, they were the perfect beginning to Kara's riot.

    She dodged Dave's attacks. She kicked the bat out of his hands and wrapped her hands around his neck. Her cuffs locked him in place, and with not all, but a good amount of might, she threw him against a wall. Mon-El fumbled with the keys, but finally figured out how to free his hands. He scrambled over to her, unlocking her wrists.

    She sighed triumphantly, throwing the restraints to the ground. "Come on, Daxamite."

    He grinned, and they ran the opposite way from the N'cron. She kicked down doors with sheer force, and he used the keycard from Dan's belt to open others.

    " _Come on!_ " Kara bellowed, leading them down the halls, " _Let everyone out!_ "

    More aliens freed their fellow captives, and soon, they were like an ocean wave. " _They must have a way of getting us onto this planet. I remember, when they took me, they had a pretty big ship. I bet, we can find someone who knows where they keep them_."

    " _What if there's only one?_ " he'd asked and Kara had taken a moment to think.

    " _I don't think there will be. The men who work here need a way on and off planet, right? And so do the spectators._ "

    They found the hangar, thanks to a young Jaquaan who hadn't been given enough sedation when he was brought in, and they watched as people from different worlds far apart from each other occupied the same ships, helping one another on board. Mon-El looked over at Kara, and watched her eyes well up. He leaned down and took her hand gently in his own. She looked at him and he gave her a gentle squeeze.

    " _What if it doesn't work?_ " He'd asked.

    " _They have no reason to believe we'd try anything._ " She'd shrugged, " _And besides, we have to at least try._ "

    He'd bit his lip and then looked up at her. " _Okay, Kara. I'm with you._ "

    Alarms sounded above their heads and her face became stone, dropping his hand quickly. "I'm going to go make sure everyone's out."

    "Kara, you can't--!" He said.

    "--Mon-El, I'll be fine," she smiled easily, "just make sure everyone gets to a ship."

    He bit his lip and she looked at him, "This is the first of many honorable acts to come, Mon-El." She said softly.

    He blinked, and then swallowed. He glanced down at his feet and closed his eyes for a moment. "Just come back okay?" He said, looking up at her.

    She grinned, "See you soon, Prince of Daxam."

    Kara sprinted down corridors, listening for anyone. She took a corner fast and almost ran head-long into a fire. She skidded to a halt and clutched her chest. She could hear screams behind the flames, and she took a deep breath. She used her freeze breath, and a rush went through her. She hadn't wielded it in so long; it felt good to be finally saving lives.

    The fire subsided. Behind the dying embers, she saw a man in dark kevlar beating an Infernian to the ground. She straightened, clenching her fists. She ran forwards, catching the guard's attention. He turned from the bruised alien and rolled his shoulders.

    He threw a punch and she ducked under his arm easily. He came after her with the taser and she caught it with her bare hand. His eyes widened, and her face became contorted. She let out an animalistic cry, forcing him to his knees and breaking the baton in two. He stared up at her, and she looked down at him for a long moment, before she kneed him in the jaw.

    He fell limply to the ground and she turned from him to the barely conscious Infernian. She helped him to his feet and wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

    "Come on," she said, "I'll get you to a ship."

    He nodded vaguely and she began to drag him down the hall. She turned a corner, and stopped. There stood Roulette, looking perfect as usual, surrounded by five men in the same dark kevlar. Something cut through the air behind her, and the Infernian choked. She looked up at him, as blood spilled over his lip. He slumped forwards, falling to the floor before she could catch him, a dagger sticking out of his back.

    " _No!_ " She knelt down next to him, trying to staunch the blood. " _No, no, no, no!_ "

    She looked up at Roulette darkly. She stood and men tackled her to the ground. She looked up and her eyes glowed.

    "Ah-ah-ah," Roulette said in a warning tone, "I wouldn't do that if I were you."

    "Give me _one_ reason." Kara growled.

    "Because maybe I can change?" Roulette said sarcastically and Kara took a step forwards.

    " _Fine_." She sighed, "Because if my heart stops, then so does the heart of your prince."

    Kara's eyes dimmed, "What? No you can't--"

    "--Here's your problem, _Supergirl_ ," she said as they pulled Kara to her feet, "you only think of yourself. You were so concentrated on wiping away your sins that you forgot about what's most important to you; you shouldn't have left the lost puppy by himself."

    " _What did you do to him?!_ " Kara struggled against the men holding her back.

    "Oh nothing," Roulette sighed, brushing a lock of hair off Kara's forehead, as they put a mask on her face, a toxin burning her lungs. " _yet._ "

    Kara tossed her head to get Roulette away. The woman only smiled, watching her with mild fascination as Kara's world began to spin. Roulette turned on her heel and Kara lost the ability to stand. The men gripping her arms dragged her across the floor. She could see, but she couldn't move. She could barely lift her head, let alone fight off fifteen or so men.

    They carried her through a door she'd never seen before. Suddenly, she the fresh air hit her skin. She tried to lift her head and took a deep breath. She sighed, looking up into the sky and feeling the night surround her. She hadn't seen a moon in _seven_ _years_. She hadn't realized how much she'd missed it, even if those three moons in the sky weren't the one she yearned to see the most.

    They stopped and dropped her unceremoniously to the ground. Someone yanked her head back by the roots of her blonde hair. She groaned in agony, and looked around.

    " _Kara!_ " Mon-El breathed from where he was sat about five feet from her.

    " _Mon-El--_ " she tried to move but she couldn't. "--I can't--"

    "--It's okay," he nodded, "everything's going to be okay."

    "Oh, if only that were true." Roulette said, standing in between them. "I lost an investment today."

    Kara rolled her eyes and wished she was able to hold her own head up without the help of someone else. "We're not an _investment_ ," she said, "we're _real people_."

    "It may surprise you, Supergirl, but I answer to a _higher power_." Roulette said, "And neither them, nor I, agree with you there."

    "You're disgusting." Mon-El spat.

    "And you're a useless, spoiled, brat from a planet of lazy hooligans who the galaxy is _glad_ to be rid of." she snapped and he lurched forwards, men holding him back.

    " _Take that back._ " He growled.

    Was it in Kara's head, or did she just wiggle a toe?

    Roulette smiled pitifully at him, "Or what?" she said, cupping his chin delicately. "You have no army at your disposal anymore. How are you going to exact your revenge?"

    He tossed his head to get her off and tried to stand again. " _Stop._ " Kara said menacingly, to both of them. Her ring-finger twitched in her cuffs.

    "I wish I could." Roulette said, "but you see, before I take my leave, I need to ensure the other shareholders of this establishment that the two culprits were punished."

    "What--?" Kara frowned.

    One of the men stepped forwards, and she recognized Dave. The cuts and bruises on his face were already fully-formed; Kara had meant them to be a farewell gift. From his belt, he took out one of those batons they use and hit Mon-El across the cheek. Mon-El straightened and looked up incredulously.

    "What the--" He began, but Dave hit him again.

    He threw the bat on the ground and grabbed Mon-El's collar and began to punch him with fists enclosed in special gloves Kara had never seen before.

    " _Stop!_ " She yelled, and for a moment, he did.

    Mon-El coughed and spat blood out to his left. "You want him to stop?" Roulette asked with false concern. She bent down in front of Kara and looked into her eyes. Kara only glanced over her shoulder at Mon-El. Roulette grabbed her chin and made her return her stare. "I said, ' _do you want him to stop?_ '"

    " _Of course I do!_ " Kara snapped.

    "Then tell us where those ships were heading." Roulette said.

    " _What?_ " Kara said, and Dave smiled.

    He grabbed Mon-El's shoulder, and kneed him in the chin. He gripped the Daxamite's ear, and began to hit him again, and again, and again.

    " _STOP!_ " Kara screamed desperately, " _Please! Please, stop--_ "

    "-- _Tell us where you sent them!_ " Roulette yelled over her.

    " _Kara; don't--!_ " Mon-El groaned in between hits.

    " _STOP, STOP IT PLEASE!_ " Kara's fist clenched.

    " _WHERE ARE THEY?_ " Roulette bellowed.

    " _I don't know,_ " Kara sobbed, " _I don't know--PLEASE!_ "

    Mon-El fell over, unable to kneel anymore. Dave began to kick him, and Kara's body shook. She wanted to look away but she couldn't. He straightened the prince and began to hit his face again.

    " _WHERE ARE THE OTHERS?!_ " Roulette screamed.

    Kara's eyes filled with fury. She screamed, light shooting from her eyes and at the ground below Dave's shoes. His foot slipped into a hole, his leg breaking with a sickening _crack_. He screamed out in pain, his voice echoing around the stadium.

    She closed her eyes and with one stroke, broke the restraints binding her hands in two. She elbowed one of the men behind her, shooting him twenty feet back. She shoved the second in the chest with an open palm, and he knocked into two others on his way down. She shot the ground beneath the other men holding Mon-El with her eyes and the explosion sent them flying backwards.

    She stood and was about to go for Mon-El when suddenly, a gun was cocked. Roulette stood, staring at Kara evenly, glock pressed against the Daxamite's temple.

    "Funny thing about your Daxamite friend here," Roulette smiled, "we took some of his blood when we first found his--"

    "--You mean _kidnapped_ him?" Kara snapped venomously.

    "Tomato, tomahto," Roulette shrugged, "anyways, we found that the prince here has a deathly allergy to lead."

    Kara swallowed, "You're lying."

    "No, I'm not actually." Roulette said matter-of-factly, "You see, they don't have the element on this planet, so I sent for it from Earth."

    Kara's eyes flickered to the gun, "Are those--"

    "--Lead bullets." Roulette smiled, "I shoot him with one of these, and he dies instantaneously."

    Kara took a step forwards and Roulette pushed Mon-El's head with the barrel. "Ah-bah-bup." She chastised, "He's not bullet-proof like you, sweetheart."

    Kara swallowed, trying to formulate a plan. She came up empty.

    "Where did they go?" Roulette asked sweetly.

    Kara stared at her incredulously, "After _all this,_ that's still what you want to ask me?" She yelled, "You don't want to leave without any funny business--you don't want to exchange your life for his?!"

    "You see, if I leave here without an answer, I will have no life." She said menacingly and Kara swallowed.

    "I don't have an answer for you, Roulette." She said tiredly, "Just, _please_ , let me and Mon-El go."

    A look flashed through Roulette's eyes, and if she hadn't known this woman, Kara would've thought it to be regret. "No, I can't." She said, turning to face Mon-El. She adjusted the gun in her palms.

    " _NO!_ "

    Kara flew forwards, and shoved Roulette in the chest. Her body floated across the arena as if in slow-motion. It hit one of the stone walls, cracking the rock beyond repair. She didn't get up. Kara turned her head to listen,

    There was no heartbeat.

    Her whole body shuddered. She fell to her knees and stared at Roulette's lifeless form. Next to her, Mon-El struggled to catch his breath, blood oozing out of him like a sponge.

    "Kara," he managed to mumble. She didn't look at him. Slowly, he lifted his shackled hands, and took one of hers in both of his.

    She turned to look at him. A tear snuck out of her eye, and she reached up a hand. She splayed her palm over his cheek and let out a choked sob. She ran her thumb over his split lip, pulled her other hand from his, and ran it over his face too. Although he could barely open his eyes, he could feel himself crying too.

    He reached up and touched her wrists as she soothed his aching skin. She noticed the cuffs, and broke them apart, so he was wearing them like bracelets. She returned her hands to his face, and he wrapped his around her waist. She curled her fingers into his hair, and pulled his head forwards. He buried his nose in the crook of her neck, and gripped in between her shoulder blades.

    He could hear her heartbeat through her clothes, steady and strong; beating just as fast as his.

    "Let's go home." He said, his voice shaking slightly.

    "I can't wait for you to see it." She sobbed into his hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to the lovely Lost_in_the_desert (xoxo<3), ImCamBass, Amber, AvengingLegendHobo, xrisapotter, Icylightning, Iaintnosidekick, CaptainCanary45 for the lovely comments :). For those of you who don't follow me on tumblr (@shadowjays-waffles) I'm going to update Crashing soon, I' just working out some logistics for the story ;)


	6. Conquest of Spaces

    Kara heaved Mon-El up the steps of a pod. She dropped him awkwardly into the co-pilot's chair and then sat down in the other. A small console separated them, and she took a long moment, examining all the controls. She flipped switches and he watched through swollen eyelids.

    She put her hand on the controls between them, and their ship pulled forwards. It made a strange clanking noise, and he looked up at her.

    "It's probably just old." She said, trying to disguise her fear.

    He nodded and looked out the window, watching the empty hangar pass by. A body lay in a corner, and he looked away. She flew through a purple shield, and there they were. A vast array of stars lay around them. He leaned forwards, holding in a groan of pain.

    He touched the glass and looked out into the expanse. " _Wow_ ," he breathed.

    She glanced over at him and smiled sadly. She turned forwards again and began to plug in coordinates. He looked at her curiously.

    "Isn't it beautiful?" He asked.

    She jerked her head to meet his gaze, and then, swallowing, averted her eyes. "Yeah, sure."

    "Kara..." He breathed, reaching out for her hand.

    She almost pulled away, but then, she let his fingers wrap around hers on the control console between them. She took a deep breath and a firm tone, saying:

    "I'm fine, Mon-El," she looked into his blue eyes, "really."

    "Who says it's about you?" He smirked through the dried blood covering his cheeks, "Maybe I just need to hold someone's hand."

    She smiled and turned her hand over, clutching him back. He sighed and turned back to the stars as they sat, mere inches from him. She watched him slowly.

    "It's certainly better than our last view." She said dryly and he snorted.

    "I dunno, I didn't always mind the view." He looked up at her and she rolled her eyes, looking in front of them again.

    "Who knew a Daxamite could be so cheeky." she said sarcastically, smirking and he laughed, leaning against the headrest of his seat.

    "Who knew a _Kryptonian_ could be so stuck up." He countered and she scoffed, smiling slightly.

    "I said I liked it better than our other view!" She said defensively.

    "Yes well, that's real high praise." He said facetiously.

    She sighed, "I just wanna get home, that's all."

    "I know." He said softly. "How much longer?"

    "About a day," She said, "maybe one and a half. We'll probably get there early in the morning."

    "Early enough to see the sunrise?" He asked softly and she looked at him as if she couldn't believe he'd remembered those conversations they both treasured.

    She smiled and squeezed his hand. "You know, I think we just might make it."

    He grinned and slumped further into his chair, and she flipped some more switches. He stopped for a moment, but that was all he needed. He was suddenly thinking about the past again, and not the future.

    "Kara?" He asked, looking up at her and knowing she was thinking about the same time.

    "Yeah?" She barely whispered.

    "What's to stop them from doing it again?" He spoke softly. "What's to stop them from rebuilding their arena, getting a new announcer, kidnapping new fighters?"

    She turned to him, and that determined look was in her eyes. "Us." She said, "We're here to stop them. We're going to tell as many planets as we can about smugglers, make them get a better hold on their borders."

    "But what if it's not enough?" He asked. "What if they outsmart us? Figure a way around all of it--"

    "--Then we just keep trying." She said firmly. "We can't think of an ultimate solution right this second, but we won't let them do this again, Mon-El."

    He nodded, swallowing pensively. She gave his hand one last squeeze before she pulled it away and began to fly the ship past nebulae and asteroids. He stared outside like a child, remembering all the times he and his family had traveled the stars together. She sighed and steered them around a small planetoid. She glanced at him, and blinked. She couldn't put her finger on what she was feeling, but she knew that it felt... nice.

* * *

    Kara was lying down. She was on her stomach, her hands pressed against something cool and smooth, with light cracks in it. The last thing she remembered was hurtling through the atmosphere. The was surrounded in flames, her hand grasped tightly in his, bound for the desert just outside National City. Once they landed, everything went dark. Someone must have found them. She opened her eyes slowly and lifted her chin; she was on a leather bed. She sat up abruptly and jumped to her feet--there was a glass door.

    She suddenly began to breathe rapidly. She slammed her hands against the barrier, and the cool window stung her palms. Visions began to slip through. Suddenly, she wasn't touching glass, but a rock wall. She wasn't breathing in sterilized air but the scent of death and mold. The silence she heard was filled with screams, the light from above yellow sun lamps preparing her for battle. She gripped the roots of her hair and squeezed her eyes shut.

    Her pulse was racing, her head felt heavy and worst of all, the pain in her side from not breathing properly. She pressed a hand to her ribs and forced a deep breath into her lungs.

    She swallowed and took a step back, her heart beating slower. She inhaled and shot the door point-blank with her heat-vision. The glass fell to the floor, molten orange and sizzling. She stepped over the threshold she'd made and moved to the second door, this one large and metal. She leaned back and kicked it with all her might.

    The door flew across the hallway, where she saw men in dark kevlar calling people on their radios. She looked at them through glowing eyes, and all she could see was fear. She swallowed, and almost wanted to surrender just so they wouldn't be afraid, but then alarms began to blare overhead.

    They began to shoot at her, bullets bouncing off her chest and hitting the walls around her. She marched forwards and they stumbled back. She let out a furious cry, and they began to run, terrified. She was about to follow when she heard someone screaming desperately.

    She could hear him, hear his voice, calling her name over and over. She could feel it somewhere, reverberating around in her chest, like he could send his voice through the air and straight to her heart. She chased his tone, turning around and searching for him. She shoved open a door, and there he was, fists clenched against the glass, forehead pressed hopelessly against it.

    " _Mon-El,_ " she breathed, and he looked up.

    His hands relaxed, palms opening against the glass, dirtying it with his blood. Kara sped towards him, pressing her hands against the barrier separating them.

    "Kara--" he began,

    "--It's okay," she said quickly, "I'm gonna get you out of here."

    She moved to the control panel as he eyed the alarms nervously. "Kara you need to go--"

    "--I am _not_ leaving you." She said fiercely, meeting his eyes with an intensity he'd never seen before.

    He blinked, and nodded. She turned back to the cell's locks and began to grow more and more frustrated.

    " _Supergirl!_ " Someone yelled behind her, " _Stand. Down._ "

    She turned slowly to see agents all holding guns that Kara knew she wasn't immune to. Her eyes flickered to the man in front of all of them.

    Suddenly, someone came pushing through the crowd. " _Stop! Stop!_ " A woman tumbled forwards, stepping in between the two parties and putting her hands up. " _Stop,_ " she said, trying to catch her breath.

    She turned from the man and looked at Kara. Her lip quivered slightly, a strand of long brown hair coming loose from her bun. Her deep brown eyes, wide as the night, stared into Kara's.

    " _Alex?_ " Kara breathed.

    The woman nodded vigorously, tears beginning to slip through her eyelids. "Yeah, Kara," she said, "it's me."

    Kara's breath hitched in her throat. It didn't feel real. Everything about this felt like it was too good to be true; felt like something was going to change at any second and destroy her even further.

    But then, she looked at Alex, and she knew; she _knew_ it was real. She ran towards her sister, the two meeting in the middle. Kara threw her arms around Alex and sobbed into her shoulder. She lost the strength to stand, and they slowly slipped to the floor. They were a tangle of limbs and tears; Alex's hands stroking Kara's hair, Kara almost bruising her sister's ribs.

    "Of course the one time I go to the bathroom you wake up." Alex sniffed, holding her sister close. Kara couldn't help but let out a watery laugh, imagining how long she must've waited by her side.

    They leaned back, and Alex suddenly said, "Where have you been?"

    Kara blinked and Alex calmed herself, "Please, I just--I need to know."

    Kara yanked Alex back into her arms and rubbed her back. "It's, uh," she swallowed, trying not to cry so hard, "it's a long story."

    They pulled apart and stared at each other for a moment. Alex brushed a blonde lock off of Kara's forehead with her index finger.

    "Okay." Alex whispered, nodding, "When you're ready."

    They sat and smiled at each other. Kara couldn't believe this was real. She stared into her sister's familiar eyes and she waited for a feeling of freedom to rush over her. She waited for the sense of security she remembered Alex giving to her. She'd been dreaming about this moment for years, and now it was here. She waited for a long time, longer than she thought she should have.

    "Kara," Mon-El said behind her and she turned. He looked at her anxiously through his swollen eyelids and she took a breath.

    "We're safe now," She stood, almost forgetting that everyone else was there, watching them. She put her hand against the glass and his moved immediately to line up with hers, "we're safe."

    Alex swallowed and stepped close to her sister, "Kara," she said, "we can't let him out."

    "Why?" She asked suddenly.

    "He tried to attack us when we found you, and we don't know if he has any diseases--"

    "--Alex," Kara said, "he didn't know who you were--open the door, please."

    Alex hesitated and looked at Kara's eyes, wondering why they had so much emotion in them.

    "He's not going to hurt anyone," Kara said, " _I promise_."

    Alex swallowed and nodded, "Okay." She said, inputting the proper code.

    The door sprang open, and he froze. She pushed the glass away, and stepped to the side. "Come on," She said gently.

    He looked from the threshold, to Kara, to the woman he didn't know.

    "Come on, it's okay." Kara said, but he still didn't move. She swallowed and smiled, jerking her head in the direction she was asking him to go, "Come on, Mon-El." She whispered.

    He blinked and took a long moment. She was inviting him to leave, not forcing him, not telling him to do anything, but inviting him. These people stood in control of his freedom and he was having a hard time believing they weren't just taunting him. He inhaled slowly, reveling in the feeling of the air rushing through his lungs. He sped out of the cell as if it were on fire. He skidded to a halt next to Kara, eyeing Alex wearily.

    "You, uh, must be the sister." He said, after a second, trying not to notice the stunned look on Alex's face. He smiled gently and offered her his hand.

    "I guess that answers the question of whether or not you have powers too." Alex said, blinking astonishedly, "You're from Daxam?" Alex asked slowly.

    "Yeah." He spoke softly.

    She cocked her head slightly. "You okay?" She asked gently.

    "Oh, yeah." He said quickly, nodding profusely, "Happy to be on this planet."

    "Oh." Alex frowned, "Uh, okay. We're, uh, glad to have you."

    "Thank you." He said, looking quite chipper.

    "Alright well, why don't you guys come with me? There's someone who wants to see you." Alex smiled, turning on her heel as the men in kevlar filed out of the cell.

    Kara walked in front of Mon-El, looking around. He watched her carefully, trying to decipher what she was feeling. They walked into the communications center and he pulled his eyes from her profile. Screens flashed mug shots and shone camera feeds from different places; people with headsets watching intently and typing things on computers.

    A man sat at a station, looking like he was cataloguing rocks. He hummed to himself and typed animatedly. He picked up a vial of dust and examined it pensively. Alex walked up to him and Kara stopped, making Mon-El bump into her.

    "Winn," Alex tapped his shoulder gently, making him turn, "look who's here."

    He turned and for a moment, he didn't understand. Kara looked at him and her lips parted. He seemed to look so much older than before, even though he couldn't be more than thirty-two. He had a pair of horn-rimmed glasses resting on the bridge of his nose, and the crows' feet at the corners of his eyes were more defined. He had a scar in his eyebrow that she'd never seen before. She wondered what he must think of her.

    He finally got over the initial shock of seeing her standing there. He took a deep breath and stood slowly, unable to pull his eyes away. He touched his glasses nervously, and then almost ran towards Kara. She took a step forwards and let him wrap her up in a hug.

    "Oh my god," he breathed, "it's so good to see you, Kara."

    "You too," she smiled, and they pulled away.

    She looked down into his teary eyes and then pulled him back into a hug. They stayed there for a long moment. When they finally pulled away, Winn covered his face, trying to hide the tears that were leaking from his eyes. She stepped back, sniffing and wiping her eye.

    "Winn, uh," she looked up at Mon-El as he rested an arm on her shoulders reassuringly, "this is Mon-El."

    "Right," Winn sniffed, "the, uh, the Daxamite--so nice to meet you." He offered a hand and Mon-El took it graciously.

    "Nice to meet you too," He glanced up at Alex, "I've, uh, heard a lot about you guys."

    "Really?" Winn raised his eyebrows surprisedly.

    "Yeah, well, there wasn't really much else to uh..." he cleared his throat and both he and Kara avoided everyone's eyes, "there wasn't much else to talk about but Earth."

    Winn frowned and Alex walked over and sat in a chair. "Where were you guys?" He asked. "And what happened to your face?" He indicated the bruises on Mon-El's cheeks.

    " _Winn._ " Alex said warningly.

    "What--?" He frowned.

    "--No, it's fine--" Mon-El began.

    "--No, Kara said she needed some time--" Alex shook her head.

    "--Right, but--" Mon-El tried again.

    "--Well, _you didn't tell me that_ \--!" Winn glared.

    "--Well, if you would've _waited_ a _second--_ "

    "-- _Guys!_ " Kara yelled and they all turned to her. "It's uh, it's fine."

    "Kara, are you sure?" Alex asked carefully.

    The Kryptonian looked up at the Daxamite, and he shrugged. He seemed to say, " _Whatever you want to do._ " She turned back to her friends.

    "I--" Kara began but she stopped.

    Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a little girl. She was looking up at the ceiling of the DEO's foyer, spinning about in lazy circles. Her dark brown hair fell to her shoulders with bangs that threatened to get in her eyes, her rosy cheeks shone under the sunlight, and she had a small button nose. She was wearing a long-sleeve shirt and a small floral skirt. She couldn't have been more than two or three. Her shoes lit up as she stepped.

    Alex straightened away from the table in astonishment. A woman came out of the hall, an adoring smile on her lips. Her dark hair pulled back into a braid, with a few curls loose around her forehead. She wore a black leather jacket and a shield on her hip. She scooped up the little girl, both of them laughing.

    Alex walked past Kara and over to the woman. "Hey, sweetheart," she cooed, stroking the little girl's cheek. She leaned over her and kissed the woman's temple, "hey, Maggs."

    Maggie beamed up at her, and adjusted her grip on the girl. "Hey, we thought you could use some company."

    "Oh, always." Alex grinned.

    Kara looked at Alex's hand on Maggie's arm and noticed a small gold band. Her hands began to shake slightly. Maggie looked up and saw Kara. Her eyes widened, and she let Alex take the little girl from her arms. She walked over to the Kryptonian and without a word, brought her into a hug.

    "We're all so glad you're okay, Kara." She said firmly, trying to still be professional even though she was gripping Kara with all her might.

    "Thank you." Kara said, her voice shaking slightly.

    They pulled away and looked at Alex as she walked over, bouncing the little girl as she walked. She looked up at Kara and smiled, "Kara, this is our daughter," she looked at the little girl, her voice rising, "Raimy, this is your Aunt Kara."

    Kara blinked. "Hey, there." She said softly, and Raimy held her thumb in her mouth.

    Mon-El stepped behind Kara and they both stared at the little girl in wonder. The back of Kara's eyelids hurt like hell, but neither of them could bare to look away.

    "And my name's Mon-El," he said softly, offering her his little finger.

    Her tiny hands grabbed hold of him and his smile seemed to warm up the whole room. He began to do faces Kara had never seen him make before, causing Raimy to laugh. She watched him in awe.

    Alex beamed at the sound of her daughter's laughter and Kara saw the resemblance. Mon-El chuckled softly and used his free hand to make a popping sound with his mouth. Rainy began to laugh again and so he kept doing it.

    "Hey, she likes _you_ ," Maggie laughed.

    Winn smiled as he watched, leaning against his desk. Alex looked up at Mon-El, as if she were seeing him in a new light. She smiled and then looked at Kara as he kept Raimy preoccupied.

    "Kara, he's much better than you made Daxamites out to be." She said wryly.

    "Well he's only one." Kara said pointedly and he rolled his eyes.

    "Well I'm trying to make a better impression on the universe," his face fell slightly, "I am the last Daxamite after all." He smiled sadly back at Raimy, who had taken to examining his other fingers.

    Everyone got quiet for a long moment, and he didn't seem to notice. Once Raimy began to laugh again, Maggie turned to Kara.

    "So, we're going to have a little party for Raimy here, she's about to turn two."

    " _Only two?_ " Mon-El said, "She looks much older than that!" He said in a baby voice to her.

    "Would you guys like to come?" Maggie said, "I mean, assuming that Mon-El is going to stay."

    Kara frowned. She looked up at Mon-El who didn't seem to hear the question. She looked back and forth between Maggie and Alex, and then down at their daughter. She looked just like Alex when she was little (Kara had seen countless photos). Somehow though, she had Maggie's smile.

    She'd missed out on so much.

    Tears sprung to her eyes, and she couldn't take it anymore. She shook her head, "I'm--" she choked, "--I'm sorry--"

    She turned and ran up the steps. She stood on the balcony and flew up into the air. She soared above the city, looking down at the buildings she'd been dreaming about for years. She faltered and fell, hitting the gravel rooftop of a building. She knelt on the ground and pressed her face to the rocks, her whole body shuddering.

    "Kara," a gentle voice said. She jerked her head up, her eyes meeting Mon-El's. He knelt in front of her, staring at her intently, "I--I don't understand, what's wrong?"

    She just shook her head and hid her face again.

    He put a hand on her shoulder, "Is this not what you wanted?" He asked, "Didn't you want to be home, here with your family?"

    She shrugged, still burying her face in the rocks.

    "Kara, you have a _niece_ now, isn't that wonderful?" He attempted a new angle and she looked up at him.

    " _I should've been here!_ " She cried suddenly, " _I should've helped! I should've been there when she was born! I should've been at Alex's wedding!_ "

    "Kara, you can't possibly blame yourself--" He began but she shook her head, stumbling to her feet.

    " _\--No!_ " She yelled over him, "I should've known."

    "Should've known _what?_ " He asked, standing as well.

    "I should've known that it was _a trap_." She said brokenly, looking up at him sadly. "I shouldn't have gone by myself, but I thought I could handle it."

    "When they took you?" he asked gently, taking a step forwards as she nodded.

    "They said they were going to kill Alex." She said. "At first, I thought they were playing some silly game, but then I was over her house one day, and I found a bomb, hidden in her refrigerator."

    His eyes widened and she put her forehead in her palm. "Then, they attacked her in broad daylight. They made it look like something random and unexplainable but I knew. I knew it was them, and I knew it was only the beginning."

    "Kara, why didn't you tell anyone?" He asked, his hand moving to hold her arm without him telling it to.

    "They claimed responsibility for a bombing that occurred days before they threatened Alex," she said, "and they told me that if I tried to get help, they'd set off another one just like it."

    "How could they possibly know if you told anyone?" He asked and she shrugged.

    "They said they had spies inside the DEO and the police department," she said, "I didn't know what to believe."

    He swallowed and glanced down at the ground and then back up at her, "This seems like an awful lot of work for just one contestant. I mean, they just found me floating around in space, why did they put so much effort into getting you?"

    She shrugged, "Maybe because I'd ruined Roulette's businesses before and she wanted to get back at me?" She looked down, "Or perhaps the profit they made off of me outweighed the cost of putting all the resources and time into getting me. They knew I wouldn't sacrifice thousands to save myself."

    "Kara, you can't blame yourself," he said, "what you did was... it was honorable." She scoffed and he shook his head, "No, really, Kara, you saved all of those people--"

    "--How many did I end up hurting afterwards? How many moments and memories did I miss making while they had me?" She asked.

    "Kara," He said gently, "you can't beat yourself up like this. You can't just decide that everything you did was wrong, starting with the moment you _saved your sister's life!_ You can't decide that because you were _forced_ to do things you didn't want to do that you're a terrible person!"

    " _I could've fought back!_ " She said, "But I didn't! I _let_ them make me do those things!"

    " _No,_ Kara, you didn't have a choice!" He put his hands on her shoulders and made her look up at him. "Neither of us did." he said gently.

    "Oh my god," She said, covering her face, and stepping back, "and now I'm totally taking this whole thing over and making it all about me."

    "Kara, no--"

    She turned to look at him, "--Do you even want to stay on Earth?"

    "I-- _what?_ " he frowned.

    "Do you _want_ to be on Earth?" She repeated, "I didn't even _think_ about _asking_ you until Maggie did."

    "Kara, I--"

    "--I was so caught up in dreaming that I didn't even stop to think about if you wanted to be here. I just kept talking about this--this _utopia_ , convincing you it was free of anything _bad_ and that there was only _beauty_ here, but I guess I was wrong, wasn't I?"

    He blinked, "You don't really think that, do you?"

    She shook her head, "You know, I have no idea what I think anymore."

    "Kara--" He stepped towards her.

    "-- _No._ " she put a hand up and he stopped dead in his tracks. " _Think_ about it for yourself. Don't let me influence you in any way. You need to decide for yourself."

    He didn't know what to say. Maybe he _did_ need to think about it; maybe he needed to be apart from her. The thought made his stomach turn. But before he could say anything, she jumped up into the air, and flew away into the setting sun. Suddenly, sunsets and sunrises seemed less appealing to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for all the kudos you guys are AMAZING!! Special thanks to AvengingLegendHobo, Amber, Iaintnosidekick, Sarah, xrisapotter, Lost_in_the_desert, Icylightning, I'm Cam Bass, QuakingSkies, AnAverageGirl15, moongrim, CaptainCanary45, and FangirlintheForest for the lovely comments!!


	7. Don't Save Me

    James called Kara that night. He was away on a business trip for CATCO in Star City. She'd just landed on the balcony to her apartment and stepped inside when her phone rang. Somehow, Alex had known that Kara would return, so the DEO had kept her flat as a sort of safe house. She'd picked up the phone and he'd apologized over and over for not being able to be there. He'd told her about how much he'd missed her, and she tried not to cry when she heard him doing so.

    As she listened to him tell her about his life-the flat downtown where he and Winn lived, CATCO's growth over the past four years, the pulitzer he'd won, the missions he and Winn had completed together ("Keeping the city safe for your return" he'd said)-she pulled the sheets off her furniture. She listened to him as intently as she could, but she couldn't ignore the ache in her chest. _She should've been here_.

    After a while, he said he had to go to bed. She'd smiled and forced it into her voice. She set the phone down and put her head in her hand. She sighed, and her whole body shook with the breath. She kicked off her boots and tucked them under her bed. She walked over to her dresser and caught her reflection. She stopped abruptly and stared at herself.

    Her suit was in ruins, covered in dirt and blood and ripped all over. Her skirt had been singed accidentally by the Infernian she'd tried to save. Looking at it reminded her of how she'd failed him. How she'd failed so many people.

    Dirt clung to her skin, her hair was in a matted mess, falling past her waist. She turned and walked into the bathroom, kicking off her skirt as she went. She grabbed scissors from the cabinet and stood in front of the mirror above the sink. She looked into her deep blue eyes, and lifted the shears, cutting four inches clean off. She lifted the loose strands and stared at them for a moment. She watched, as her hand dropped them into the trash.

    She met her own stare once again, and cut off another inch or so, the tangled mass of curls now just falling short of her breast. She dropped the scissors into the sink and walked over to the tub. It was dusty but she didn't care. She ran herself a bath.

    She pulled off what was left of her tights and walked into her kitchen. She opened a cabinet and pulled out a dusty bottle. The label was too faded to read, but she remembered her friend M'gann M'orzz had given it to her many years ago. She didn't know what it was. She yanked off the top and downed two sips before it burned too much. She walked back into the bathroom, and looked at the tub as it filled up with bubbles. She sunk beneath the surface and felt the liquid filling up her pores.

    Her only thought was that she wanted to be alone, like this, forever.

*    *    *

    She didn't know how much time passed. All she did was sit amongst the dirt and soap and grime, soaking her body. She hadn't been submerged in water for so long, she'd almost forgot how it felt. She brushed her hands over the good four inches of foam on the top of her bath. It tickled her pruny hands as it popped. She'd missed bubble baths.

    She took another hit from the bottle. She laid back against the lip of the tub and stared up above her. There was a spider up there, rebuilding it's web after the heat and moisture from the water had disrupted it. She watched it twirl intricate and wobbly patterns in between the wall and the ceiling. Before, she might have gently taken it from its habitat and released it outside, but she couldn't bring herself to do it.

    Suddenly, she heard a soft knock. She sat up slowly and put the bottle down outside of the bath. " _Kara?_ " A voice called gently, " _Are you in there?_ "

    "Yeap," she hiccuped, relaxing back against the tub.

    The door opened carefully and Mon-El poked his head inside. "Hey," He breathed.

    "Hello." she gave him a loopy smile. She was only tipsy right now, but at the rate she was going, she would be drunk off her ass soon enough.

    "Alex, uh, dropped me here." He said, walking in and leaning against the sink.

    "Oh, _that's right_ ," she said as though it were a great revelation, "you don't know where anything is in this town."

    He laughed, "That's very true." He raised an eyebrow at her, "You know you left your door unlocked, right?"

    She paused and then laughed to herself, "That's funny; didn't evencross my mind."

    They were quiet for a moment and he swallowed. "What're you drinking?" He lowered himself to the ground, leaning against the wall near the door, side pressing against the tub, and facing her.

    She picked up the bottle and looked at it. "I have... no idea." She said, bursting into laughter.

    He smiled sadly. "Can I have some?" He asked gently.

    She shrugged and handed him the bottle. "Be my guest, Prince of Daxam."

    He took a long swig and then swallowed, a sour look on his face. " _Lord_ , that is strong."

    "Mm..." she hummed happily, "That, it is."

    He looked at her and took another sip, then rested it on his thigh. She put her temple in her hand and they stared at each other for a long moment.

    "What're we doing?" She whispered.

    "We're, uh," he lifted the bottle, "getting 'smashed' as Winn says."

    "I see he's already started to teach you things." She grinned.

    "Yeah, well, I asked him for a good place to get a drink and he said-even though he has no clue what happened-'I don't blame you for wanting to get _smashed_ after what you two went through' so I asked him what he meant." He said, putting the bottle to his lips again.

    She laughed and covered her face, "God, he still hasn't changed." She put her arm down on the edge of the bath and looked at the bubbles. "Everything else-the stuff on the surface has but... he's just still the same old Winn."

    He watched her as she sat in a pool of her thoughts, wishing he were privy to just _one_ of them. "What are we doing?" She asked again.

    "I... I don't know what you mean, Kara." He replied.

    "Why are we here?" She sniffed.

    "Because this is where we belong." He said.

    "How can you be so sure?" She looked up into his eyes, "How can you just _know_ that this is where we should be-that this is _the life_ we should be living?"

    "What other life would you have us live?" He countered gently and she paused to think.

    She sighed and shrugged, "I have no idea." She bit the inside of her cheek, "I just feel like..." she shook her head, "...I don't know."

    "No, come on." He nudged her elbow and she met his gaze. "What's wrong?"

    "It just doesn't feel right." She said softly, "I feel like in my head the whole world stopped and waited for me to come home. Now that I'm here, I guess it all just sort of hit me."

    "What did?"

    "I realized... I realized I'm alone here; stuck seven years in the past while everyone else has moved on without me."

    He smirked, "Well, by my calculations, I'm about, what, fifty-six years behind everyone else?" He said, "Last thing I remember before you was my planet being showered by rubble and burning to the ground. I guess I know, _sort of_ what you're feeling."

    "No, that's different." She said softly and he shrugged.

    "Whatever you say, boss." He said bitterly, taking another sip of the alcohol.

    "I _know_ what you're feeling, Mon-El," She said slowly as he pursed his lips, "I've lived my whole life feeling the way you do."

    He didn't answer her. Kara could tell that he was thinking about it, perhaps wondering how she could possibly understand being the actual, last, reminisce of her species. She watched him for a long moment, trying to figure out a way to articulate how it feels to be in their situation. She swallowed and never took her eyes off him.

    "You keep asking yourself why you got to survive when everyone else died." She said softly, "You keep wondering if it would've been different, had you decided to stay and let your home consume you once, and for all."

    He looked up at her and she stared at him evenly.

    "You keep wondering why you were spared, why _you_ , of all people, got to live. You keep comparing yourself to all the other people you used to know, and putting them up on a pedestal." She continued, looking away from him, "You're wondering if you were saved so you could meet me, or any of the people you've met since you woke up."

    She swallowed and looked up, blinking back tears. "You keep thinking that even if your planet _was_ still there, and everyone _was_ still alive, then maybe you could make amends for things you never did, follow up on promises you never fulfilled. But then you remember that you'd have already lost so much time with them, and you might not have been able to do any of the things anyways, which just brings you back to the beginning all over again; going around and around in your head, trying to think of a way it could be different."

    "You keep asking yourself if you did something wrong; if somehow you _deserve_ all the bad things that have happened to you." He couldn't look away from her. "Like somehow," she sniffed, "the universe is punishing you, _over and over_ again, just _waiting_ for you to stop getting up."

    His eyes ached from holding in his sadness. He looked down at the bottle and watched as a few tears fell down and soaked into his shirt. She watched him, a drop slipping from underneath her lid and hitting the water with a soft _plink_.

    "Is that what you're doing?" He asked, trying to compose himself.

    "Is what, what I'm doing?" She asked and he looked up at her.

    "Are you not going to get up anymore?" He asked, blinking like there was something caught in his eye.

    "I..." She thought for a moment and then looked back at him, "...I don't know, Mon-El."

    He took a hit off the bottle quickly and avoided her eyes, swallowing with a pained look on his face. "I can't believe this."

    "What do you mean?" She asked and he looked at her angrily.

    "You're just giving up." He said,

    "I'm not ' _giving up.'_ " She said indignantly.

    "That's exactly what you're doing." He shook his head as she turned away from him, facing the tiled wall, and covering her face as she cried. "You're letting yourself spiral downwards, Kara. That's not you."

    " _You don't know me!_ " She cried suddenly, turning back to him, " _You don't know a thing about me!_ "

    "Stop." He said.

    " _Stop what?!_ " She yelled and he shook his head.

    " _Stop pushing me away!_ " He bellowed and she held her tongue. "Stop expecting me to leave and stop trying to get over it by shoving me out the door."

    "I couldn't push you anywhere even if I _wanted_ to." She said and he closed his eyes, composing himself.

    "Kara-" He sighed.

    "- _What_ , Mon-El?" She snapped.

    They shared a tense stare for a long moment. He refused to look away, no matter how much she wanted him to.

    She closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. She rubbed her forehead with her palm and tried to stop crying. He leaned forwards and pulled it gently away from her face. He held her hand and rubbed the back of it with his thumb.

    "You're already back up again, Kara," he said, "the universe hasn't beat you. You got home, you brought me and all those people to safety."

    "But at what cost?" She said and he shook his head.

    "You're always talking about cost like there's any real way of counting the toll the universe takes. It only costs as much as your mind tells you it does." He said softly. "You freed yourself and countless others."

    She cast her eyes down and didn't look convinced. He swallowed and realized that he wasn't going to convince her in one night.

    "Come on," she said, "you should get some sleep."

    "I'm not tired-"

    "-I think we'll both feel better."

    He bit his lip and nodded. He brushed her hair gently and stood, picking up the bottle. She stood from the water after he left, shutting the bathroom door behind him, and watched the soap suds slip off her skin and into the draining tub. She stepped out and toweled herself off.

    She wrapped the cloth around her and walked out into her room, picking pajama bottoms and a tank top out her dresser. The fabrics felt so soft against her wrinkled fingers. She slipped them on, and then walked out into the living room, finding Mon-El laying on the couch with his back to her, one of the sheets that had been used to keep dust off her furniture draped over him. His ripped clothes were in a neat pile on the coffee table. They had been replaced by a navy blue t-shirt and some cotton sweatpants Alex must have given to him. She flicked off the lightswitch and crawled into her bed.

    Her first thought was that it felt too comfortable; not nearly hard enough. It was like she was actually laying on a cloud, not a mattress. She rolled over and over, trying to get comfortable. Finally, she flopped onto her back, staring up at the sky past her apartment ceiling.

    "Kara?" A timid voice said.

    She sat up and saw Mon-El standing in the dark of her doorway. She didn't know how she knew, but she didn't even need him to say it. She lifted to covers on the side of the bed closest to him, and he slipped under them. They laid down slowly, facing each other. His hand slipped through the sheets, finding hers and pulling it up between their faces. She tugged them close to her, and pressed her lips gently to his knuckles. After a moment, he pulled his hand from her grip and wrapped his arms around her. She nuzzled closer to him, burying her face in his t-shirt.

    "I want to stay here." He whispered into her hair.

    "You're drunk." She said immediately.

    "How much of a lightweight do you think I am?" He chuckled and she snorted. "But really," he said, "I want to stay here, on Earth."

    He pulled away and held her hand in between both of his. She looked up at him, and he stared back at her. He wanted to tell her where exactly on Earth he wanted to stay. He dragged her gently across the expanse of the sheets and turned over. He tugged her arm over his body, holding it against his heart. She let out a shaky breath and scooted closer to him.

    She molded her body against his, every part of her keeping him safe; her nose pressed in between his shoulder blades, her lips softly touching his skin through his t-shirt. He could feel her heartbeat, steady and strong, just like he remembered. Sleep had never come as easy to her as it did when he was in her arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this was a bit of a short one :/ but the next one will be out soon, have no fear! Thanks so so much for all the lovely kudos and to Icylightning, amber, xrisapotter, joyrolo, hera621, CaptainCanary45, SupernaturalIdjit16, Sarah (no, not too much since they age much slower under yellow sun radiation :/), Lost_in_the_desert, and FangirlintheForest for the amazing comments!! You guys are all so amazing, and your comments mean so so much to me!


	8. Way Down We Go

    Mon-El suddenly awoke, his body tensing. He could feel sweat sticking his skin, and he felt like the whole world was spinning. He rolled out of Kara’s bed and slammed onto the floor. He began to hyperventilate, tears stinging his eyes as he gripped his head in his hands.

    He looked up and saw her lying perfectly still, asleep and facing away from him. He couldn’t help but think how peaceful she looked. He watched her ribs rise and fall, and forced his lungs to inhale and exhale just as she did. He closed his eyes and took the first breath of air that provided him some sort of relief.

    He fell back against the hardwood, and covered his face. He could feel the calm washing over him, but he couldn’t shake the fear--the absolute _terror_ that had been realized whilst he slept. He’d never known that dreams could be so awful, so _bloody_ and brutal. But then again, he hadn’t known _life_ could be that way either.

    He got up and walked into her bathroom, flipping on the lightswitch. He stood at the sink, running his hands under the cold water carefully. He glanced up and caught his own reflection, staring back at him. He sighed and rubbed his eyes, listening to rain as it hit the roof softly above them. He leaned against the smooth surface and took another deep breath.

    Suddenly, he heard someone scream. He rushed out of the room and saw Kara still lying there in a drunken sleep, oblivious to the sound that just echoed around his skull. He thought he imagined it for a second, and then it came again. He ran to the window, and looked out at an empty street. The cry came again, this time slightly muffled.

    He lept off the balcony and onto the next building over, following the sound. He didn’t even hesitate; something inside him said he could do it. He tripped slightly, but regained his balance, running across the rooftop and hopping over two more.

    He skidded to a halt, listening again. He turned, and jumped into an alley. He stretched out his arms and legs, slowing himself down by pressing against the two buildings. He hit the ground gracefully, and watched as the cement cracked slightly. He straightened and looked up into the eyes of a masked man.

    The guy stepped back slightly. Mon-El glanced over his shoulder to see a man cowering in fear, a briefcase gripped in his hands. He looked back to the attacker and watched him calculate a move. Mon-El took a step forwards and the guy pulled out a gun. Mon-El froze and swallowed.

    “Back off, or I’ll shoot.” The guy growled.

    “I can’t let you do this.” Mon-El said, lifting his hands slowly to protect the other man behind him.

    “What are you doing, man? I have _a gun!_ ” He stepped closer to Mon-El who stood his ground.

    “I’m not afraid of you.” He said slowly.

    The man glared incredulously and pulled the trigger. Mon-El felt something hit his chest. It felt like a small pebble, bouncing off his breast and flying back. The man screamed in agony, falling down and clutching his shoulder. Mon-El’s eyes widened, and he stepped forwards. The man lifted his gun again and Mon-El froze.

    “ _Get back!_ ” He bellowed, “Stay away from me.”

    Mon-El stepped back and the guy stumbled to his feet. He gave the Daxamite one last look, then turned tail and ran. Mon-El watched him tiredly and sighed.

    He turned to the older man on the ground and helped him stand. “Are you alright?” He asked gently and the human stared up at him.

    “The man,” he said, “he took my--he took my watch; it was a gift, from my mother, before she--before she died.”

    Mon-El’s face hardened. “I’ll get it for you.”

    He sped after the robber, and the older man blinked. He dropped most of his things and pulled out his phone, calling someone. His hands shook as he raised the device to his ear, unable to believe what had just happened.

    The mugger stumbled into the street, and then saw the truck heading right for him. His eyes widened in the headlights. He suddenly felt a force hitting him from behind, and he went sprawling to the ground. He cried out in pain, hand going for his shoulder. He was flipped over and he looked up into the eyes of the bulletproof man and stifled a scream.

    “Where is it?” Mon-El asked, “ _Where is it?_ ”

    “ _Where’s what?_ ” The guy asked as Mon-El began to search him. He yanked the beautiful gold pocketwatch out of the mugger’s coat and raised his eyebrows.

    He lifted his hand, enclosing his fist near his cheek. The man screamed, lifting his hands and closing his eyes. He had a pained look on his face, as though he were waiting for something terrible to happen. Mon-El faltered, his arm beginning to shake. The man opened one eyelid and stared up at the Daxamite fearfully.

    Suddenly, they were surrounded by red sand. Dust floated lazily past them, desert air burning his lungs. Mon-El looked up into the sky and didn’t see a gentle moon, but the harsh sunlight, dimmed by a purple force field. He looked back down and then caught sight of his hands. They were soaked in blood.

    He stumbled off the man and watched as the liquid dripped off his fingers and onto the pavement. His hands shook as he tried to wipe it off. He pressed the bottoms of his palms against his forehead. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to force himself back into reality.

    The man sat up from the ground, holding his shoulder and staring at Mon-El in confusion. “Man, what’s wrong with you?”

    Mon-El opened his eyes to flashing lights and loud whining noises. He covered his ears and saw blue and white vehicles stopping near him, men in dark kevlar stepping out of them. He stepped back as they lifted weapons over their car doors, pointing them at him.

    He blinked, and found that he was unable to move. He swallowed what felt like sand. They were going to take him; take him back there--he knew they would. But he couldn’t move. He stood frozen in place, staring at them, the rain falling around him and filling his skin.

    He could vaguely hear them talking, telling him to get down on his knees, and put his hands behind his head, but he could barely get himself to breathe, let alone do as they asked. Suddenly, the old man came running out of the alley. They all turned to him, and Mon-El remembered the watch he still had clutched in his left hand.

    He looked down at it, and watched his fingers shake. He caught the reflection of his eye in the rounded, metal, surface, and watched it blink raindrops away. He took a deep breath and looked up. He held up the timepiece and then laid it gently on the ground. He straightened and took a deep breath, inhaling some of the storm, the water tasting sweet against his lips and on his tongue. He nodded and then turned, speeding away with a soft _whoosh_ , the sun rising above him.

* * *

    Kara woke up and rolled over, finding her bed devoid of anything but herself. She sat up, walked out into the living room, and looked around. Her apartment was empty.

    “Mon-El?” She called anxiously, and there was no answer.

    She felt herself beginning to panic. He hadn’t left anything to tell her where he went, he didn’t leave any trace. She spun around and her breath began to come out faster and faster. She opened her front door and looked out in the hall, but there was no one.

    She ran quickly to her window and jumped out, flying above National City. She soared over buildings and glanced at the sun. She faltered, tumbling to a rooftop. She looked up, and the sky was a shade of velvety purple. She gasped and scooted backwards, hitting a red stone wall. Somewhere, deep down, she knew she was still in National City, but her eyes showed her the planet she’d escaped from; the place she never, _ever_ wanted to remember. She covered her face and put her head between her knees.

    She sucked air into her lungs, trying to calm herself. Her hands curled in her hair, tugging at the golden roots with all her might. She heard something above her head, and she jumped, slipping off the edge of the building she was on. She immediately stopped herself and hovered just away from the side of the building. She looked into the air again and saw an airplane leaving white tracks in the pale blue sky.

    She wiped her cheek haphazardly and continued. She landed clumsily at the DEO and tripped in through the doors. The whole world was spinning, and she was having a hard time breathing. She stumbled, and rolled down the many steps, landing on the floor in the foyer. She turned onto her back and tried to catch her breath.

    Her head was so heavy and she struggled to her feet. People rushed around her, and there was so much noise. Monitors buzzed, lights clicked, hearts beat, and lungs expanded. She covered her ears and got down low to the ground. She pressed her forehead to the floor.

    “ _Kara?_ ” A fearful voice said, cracking through the sounds.

    Kara looked up to see her sister bending down near her. She tried to catch her breath but she couldn’t. She blinked and felt like her head was the heaviest thing she’d ever held. She put a hand on Alex’s shoulder and began to hyperventilate.

    “Something’s--” She choked, “--something’s-- _wrong_.”

    Alex cupped Kara’s cheek worriedly as other agents gathered around her. “Kara? Kara what is it? What’s--what’s wrong?” Alex asked frantically.

    “I can’t--” Kara began to feel dizzy, “--I can’t-- _breathe_ \--”

    “-- _Kara!_ ” Alex cried as her sister began to try and drag herself across the DEO’s foyer.

    “--I have to--” she choked, unable to move anymore, “--I have to find him--”

    “--Who? Find _who_ , Kara? _Who do you need to find?_ ” Alex cried.

    Kara rested her forehead against the ground. “I have to--I have to find Mon-El.”

    “Kara, I’m sure he’s fine, why--”

    “-- _They took him!_ ” Kara screamed suddenly, making Alex flinch. “They’re taking him away…”

    “Wha--where, Kara, _where?_ ”

    Kara held her face and breathed rapidly. She tried to open her eyes, but her vision was tunnelled. She closed them again and pressed her head down.

    “He can’t go,” she muttered, “he can’t go without me--”

    “--Go _where,_ Kara--?” Alex asked to which she received no answer.

    “--He’s going to die without me-- _they’ll kill him_.” She said, pulling at her hair angrily. “He’d not ready-- _he’s not ready_.”

    “For what?” Alex touched Kara’s shoulder, “What isn’t he ready for?”

    Kara shook her head. She clenched and unclenched her fists, unable to find relief. Suddenly, everything overwhelming again. It was like when she’d first landed on Earth; all of these new powers had just cropped up out of nowhere and she had no idea how to control them, no idea how to hone them, and worst of all, no one to share in her pain. And just like that, she was screaming; trying to overpower the roaring sounds around her.

    She felt herself falling, her lungs faltering, her world spinning around in a flurry of strange colors and awkward shapes. She could hear Alex’s voice, but it was as though it were off in the distance. People were rushing around, each of their fingers’ keystrokes sounding like thunder banging around in her head. She cried over it, forcing air into her body and becoming louder than everything around her.

    She couldn’t hear anything now. It was all blank. There was all this dark, cool, air around her and she still couldn’t breathe. But it didn’t seem to matter anymore; it fet normal, almost calming, like the bath she’d taken last night. Her hands shook as she reached out into the void, searching for something. A palm appeared in the distance, opened and calm, accepting hers as she lost consciousness.

* * *

    Maggie shoved through people, tossing gruff apologies over her shoulder as she went. She turned a corner, hugging the wall and forcing people out of her way. She stopped short to catch her breath, and saw her wife, standing in the middle of the hall. Her hands were folded neatly in front of her, a worried expression on her face. Maggie ran to her as fast as she could.

    “ _Alex_ ,” She said breathlessly, as her wife turned to her anxiously. She brushed the hair out of Alex’s face, and then pressed their foreheads together. They stayed that way for a long moment, Maggie’s fingers tangled in Alex’s hair, Alex’s hands gripping Maggie’s elbows. They pulled apart and Maggie cupped her cheeks. “How is she?”

    Alex swallowed and they turned to the wall of glass windows. She took a shaky breath and shook her head, “I have no clue.”

    Neither of them could look away from Kara’s motionless form. Her skin was set aglow by the yellow sun lamps, but they didn’t seem to be doing anything for her. Alex traced her brow with her thumb and forefinger, squeezing her eyes shut and leaning into Maggie.

    “Alex?” Maggie wrapped her arms around her wife and kissed the crown of her head. “Alex, I’m sure she’ll be fine,”

    “I have no idea what’s wrong with her!” Alex sniffed, “I can’t--I can’t _help her_.”

    “The way you described it on the phone…” Maggie sighed, “...it sounded a lot like… she was having a panic attack.”

    Alex pulled away from Maggie and looked at her incredulously. “What--why?”

    Maggie shrugged, “I have no idea, Alex.”

    They both turned to look at her. Alex took a step towards the glass and Maggie watched her carefully. “ _What happened to her?_ ” Alex wondered softly.

    Maggie followed her, catching Alex’s hand. They laced their fingers together and stayed quiet. “Something horrible.” Maggie said.

    Suddenly, Mon-El came barreling around the corner. Maggie and Alex jumped, moving away from him. He looked absolutely terrible. The pajamas Alex had given him the day before were covered in dirt and mud. His hair was glistening and there was a small hole in his shirt, about the size of a dime, just over where the heart of a human would be (his was on the other side). He wasn’t wearing any shoes; his feet were covered in grime and his hands were shaking.

    “Where is Kara?” He asked, and the two women blinked. “I can’t find her anywhere.”

    He stepped closer, and then he caught sight of her. He lurched forwards and Alex stepped in front of him. “Listen, there’s something wrong with her,” Alex said and Mon-El nodded.

    “Obviously, since she’s in a _hospital bed_.”

    “That’s--”Alex closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “--Can you think of anything that might have happened to her? Any sickness she might have gotten on… wherever you were?”

    Mon-El looked down and shook his head. “No, nothing I know of.”

    “Okay,” Alex nodded.

    “Can I,” he began after a moment, “can I go see her?”

    “Oh--oh yeah, go ahead.” Alex said, as Maggie smiled over her wife’s shoulder.

    He walked slowly through the doorway, his fingers dragging against the frame. He paused, a few feet from her bed and the two women outside watched.

    “You can go in too, you know,” Maggie spoke softly, “she is your sister too.”

    Alex nodded, “I know.”

    “She’ll probably wake up soon,” Maggie said, “she just fainted, it’s only been about twenty minutes.”

    “I know.” Alex swallowed.

    Maggie tilted her head slightly as Mon-El pulled a chair closer to Kara’s bed. She frowned and then looked up at Alex. “You know, we got a call in early this morning that some guy stopped a mugging.”

    “Nice to know the city hasn’t totally fallen apart.” Alex said dryly.

    “The attacker was shot,” Maggie said, “with his own gun.”

    “Huh.”

    “Only his prints were on the weapon, and ballistics came back as a match.” Maggie stepped closer, and Alex looked at her out of the corner of her eye.

    “Okay…” She said slowly, not sure where Maggie was going.

    “The victim said the guy who saved him was about six feet, with pale skin and dark hair.” Maggie raised an eyebrow and Alex’s face dawned with realization as she stared at Mon-El’s shoulder blades. “And the bullet bounced off his heart and hit the mugger right in the shoulder.”

    “So our Daxamite friend has been going out into the street at night and taking names.” Alex said, “Why wouldn’t Kara tell me?”

    “Maybe she doesn’t know.” Maggie shrugged, “In any case, he’s only done it _once_ , so who’s to say he’ll do it again?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so so much for all the kudos and to Icylightning, ImCamBass, Lost_in_the_desert, xrisapotter, SupernaturalIdjit16, moongrim, Karamel_fangirl (emara32), Sarah, kriptonslexie, CaptainCanary45, and AnAverageGirl15 for the AMAZING comments :) hope you guys like this chapter ;p


	9. Gemini Feed

    Kara watched her hands as they twitched on the metal table. She made herself swallow, the back of her throat burning as she forced the saliva down. She didn’t look up, for fear of catching the eye of her reflection in the two-way mirror behind her sister, who sat across from her in one of the DEO’s interrogation rooms.

    She’d been awake when Mon-El had appeared by her bedside in the infirmary, but she hadn't spoken a word to him. She hadn't spoken to anyone. For some reason she'd been so embarrassed about fainting that she couldn't bring herself to talk at all. He tried in vain for a while to get her to say anything to him, but eventually, he'd understood that she needed to talk to Alex.

    “Kara,” Alex said softly, “We don’t have to do this--this… way.”

    “I have something to say.” Kara looked up at her sister, “And I’d like to only say it once.”

    Alex nodded, and adjusted the microphone on the desk. “Okay.” She said softly, “Go ahead.”

    Kara took a deep breath. “I’d like to--” she choked slightly, “--I’d like to resign from the DEO.”

    “Wha--Kara, no!” Alex sat forwards and Kara wiped her eye.

    “I can--no longer perform my duties as Supergirl.” She continued.

    “Kara, this is insane! You _love_ being Supergirl--”

    “--I broke a promise.” Kara said over her sister. “I did many things that are unforgivable.”

    “That doesn't matter! People will forgive you! It’s just like when you were under red kryptonite--”

    “--It's _not_ the same, Alex.” Kara said.

    Alex took a breath, a determined look on her face, “Okay, how is it different?”

    “About eight years ago, there was an attack made on National City; one that the DEO never solved. But I did.” Kara sniffed and avoided Alex’s eyes. “It was perpetrated by an organization, known only to me as ERIS.”

    “How did you… how did you come to this realization?” Alex asked slowly.

    “They contacted me. Somehow… they knew my true identity, and they started to--to _threaten_ me,” She looked up at Alex, “threaten you.”

    “I went to your house the day afterwards to tell you but then, I found a bomb in your kitchen, capable of destroying the whole block of your street.” She brushed some hair off her forehead, “It was just like the one from a couple weeks earlier, except this one didn't have a timer and wouldn’t have gone off, but it was fully capable of killing you. It was a warning. And I… I didn’t listen.”

    “When that didn’t work, they sent someone after you. I caught them. Then they blew off one of your tires when you were going over that bridge, trying to send your car over the edge, but you swerved out of the way. They made it look like some sort of freak accident.” Kara leaned onto the table, “You had your _whole life_ ahead of you; one with Maggie, and I had nothing. I was going to continue living in this endless, lonely cycle, while you moved on and left me. So I thought: ‘it wouldn’t be so bad, if she were safe, and she didn’t have me to worry about anymore.’”

    Alex covered her eyes and her body shook, “Kara, _you know that’s not true!_ ” She cried, meeting her sister’s gaze again.

    Kara swallowed and continued, ignoring Alex, “So I did what they asked.” She bit the inside of her cheek, “I thought that there was a chance that I’d get hurt, but I also knew that there was a high probability that I’d be able to solve it on my own. My god, I was _so stupid_.”

    “When I got there,” Kara bit her upper lip, “they had a machine--a sort of small, hand-held thing--that generated the radiation from a _red_ sun. There were… so many of them. I couldn’t do a damn thing. And so, they took me.”

    Kara tossed her head back, sniffing again, “They have this--this _gas_ , and I have _no_ clue what it’s made of but, it knocked me out _fast_. Next thing I knew, I was in a cell.”

    “It, uh” she cleared her throat, “it was about eight by five feet, and all the walls were stone. I tried to break through them, but behind it, was Nth metal, which is a type of unbreakable alloy from a planet called Thanagar. The bars were crude and made from the same materials, and the door to the block of cages I was in was made of reinforced Kryptonite.”

    There was a long moment of silence after that. “Then what happened?” Alex breathed.

    “Well,” Kara nodded, “I don’t really know how to put it delicately.”

    Alex shrugged, her eyes watery, “That’s--that’s okay.”

    Kara cracked her knuckles and wrung her hands around each other. “I was forced to fight.”

    “What?” Alex blinked.

    “Yeah.” Kara avoided her sister’s stare, clenching her teeth. “There was this, uh, arena? And they… people would come and watch prisoners fight. And… Roulette would announce the games, collect the bets and basically ran the whole operation.”

    “At first I… I tried not to fight, but no one else could beat me there, and I couldn’t possibly just stop fighting.”

    “Why not?”

    “I tried once and they stopped feeding me until I was barely able to stand on my own.” Kara said.

    Alex sucked in a sharp breath of air, turning away from her sister.

    “So,” Kara swallowed, “I fought. And I won. Every… single… time.”

    “I never,” Kara took a breath, “I never bled. Not really. Occasionally, I’d use up so much energy that even the radiation from a yellow sun couldn’t keep one or two of my knuckles from cracking. I became a slave; brought out to perform, and then put back to slowly die. I was the _Earth’s Saviour: The Girl of Steel_ , and the safest bet anyone could make.”

    “Roulette stole the name Supergirl from me.” She licked her lips, her face sobering, and her eyes becoming dry. “She turned it into the title her _customers_ would use to make a quick buck. They didn’t care; no one did.”

    “I spent six years by myself in those cages. I’d pace and practice and _dream_ about getting back here; to you. Somewhere along the line, I convinced myself that it was better not to let myself think about _this place_. That I, somehow, didn’t _deserve_ to remember all the _beautiful_ and wonderful things that Earth had done to alter my life. I became… inhuman.” She looked up at her sister, “I wasn’t even _alive_ in here anymore.”

    She pulled her knees up onto the chair, hugging them to her chest. “And then, one day, I walked out into the arena, and there he was. The _Prince of Daxam_ ; the one planet of people I thought I could never forgive--let alone get along with--and I found myself… pitying him.”

    “He was so… lost when he came there.” Kara said, staring off into the distance as if in a daze, “He had _no idea_ what he was in, and I beat the living hell out of him. He was still weak from being comatose for all of those years, and he bled _so much_.”

    She opened a hand in front of her nose, “His blood… it was _all over_ me. He coughed, and it splattered across my face. It soaked into my _skin_ , and covered my hands. It looked _just_ like mine. I beat him so terribly that once he fell unconscious, I wished that I’d _never_ have to see his face again. And then, of course, he was put in the cell next to mine.”

    “At first, I didn’t know how to--to talk to him, explain anything. I was coarse and gruff, telling him what to do--giving him directions and showing him how to fight. It was the only way… the only way I could think of saying sorry.” She swallowed, “Like teaching him was somehow any way to repent for all the things I’d done to him and people like him. But I believed it anyways.”

    “We began to fight together. Roulette,” Kara let out a humorless chuckle, “gave him the name _Valor_. She just loved to torture all of us. She destroyed the word and gave it to him like it was _some sort of gift_.”

    “He spent a year with me, and in that time, I told him everything about Earth. He began to dream about getting here, seeing it. The only way he’d sleep at night was if I told him about it; the sunrises, the buildings, the food, the tv shows, the stories, the jobs, the _drinks_.” She looked down at her hands again, “I was a crutch for him, just another thing to keep him going. Nothing between us was _real_. Nothing ever really is.”

    “Kara…” Alex frowned, “how can you--”

    “--But,” Kara sniffed, wiping her cheek, “at the time it felt real. And at the time, all I could think of was getting him away from there. He was just like you; someone I felt like I had to save, someone who I thought meant something to me other than another way to fulfill my selfish need to be adored and treated like a hero.”

    “Kara, what are you talking about--?” Alex said incredulously.

    “--I killed someone.” Kara said suddenly, making her sister freeze. “I murdered someone. I sent a woman into a stone wall and broke all of the bones in her body. I watched as she flew through the air, and I listened as her heart stopped beating.”

    Alex looked taken aback, blinking bewilderedly. She had no clue what to say in response to this confession.

    “I am a killer.” Kara stated firmly, standing slowly. “And a killer, does not _deserve_ the title ‘ _Supergirl’_ let alone ‘ _National City’s Hero_.’”

    Alex stared down at the table as Kara stormed out. She took in shallow, unsatisfying breaths, and stared blankly. She watched tears hit the metal surface, but she couldn’t get herself to move, sitting in the wake of everything her sister had just told her.

* * *

    Kara looked up as the elevator doors opened. She wiped her nose casually and walked out, staring at the ground as though she were ashamed. She reached her apartment door, and unlocked it tiredly. She stepped inside, and lifted her head to see Mon-El sitting at her kitchen table, hands folded on the hardwood surface, ankles crossed at the base of the high stool. He stared down, his brow furrowed, looking very brooding. She turned and shut the door. She slipped out of her shoes and began to walk past him.

    “Why did you do it?” He asked suddenly.

    She stopped in the midst of walking, and turned back, standing next to him. “Do what?”

    He looked up, into her eyes with an intensity she hadn’t seen before. She leaned back ever so slightly, taken by surprise. “Say those things.”

    She closed her eyes and shook her head, “Mon-El, I can’t--” she began to walk away but he stood suddenly.

    “Did you really mean them?” He said, “You really think that there was nothing, _nothing_ real between us? Do you even consider us _friends?_ ”

    “ _I have no idea, Mon-El!_ ” She bellowed, “ _I have absolutely, no clue!_ ”

    “ _How can you say that?_ ” He asked incredulously.

    She gripped the roots of her hair with both her hands and squeezed her eyes shut. “ _Nothing_ matters!” She cried, “Nothing you do, _ever amounts to anything!_ The sooner you learn that, the better.”

    “Who _are_ you?” He breathed, watching her as she walked past him.

    She stopped. Her back was facing him, and she could feel her heart beginning to race. She had all his fury, and she needed to put it somewhere.

    “You don’t _care_ ,” She said, her voice breaking, “you just _think_ you do.”

    “What the hell are you _talking about_ , Kara?!” He snapped, stepping forwards.

    She turned suddenly and he stopped. “I helped you. You think that you have to somehow repay me even though you owe me nothing.”

    “Why are you so _determined_ to _hurt_ yourself?” He stepped closer.

    “You--you--you don’t like me, you just think you _have_ to be here.”

    “That is _such a lie,_ Kara, do you even _hear yourself?!_ ” He cried. “What did I do?!”

    “ _It’s not about_ you! _”_ She bellowed, “ _It’s--it’s--it’s about_ me!”

    “ _Well, I happen to_ like _you!_ ” He cried and she shook her head.

    “ _Why?!_ ” She screamed.

    “‘ _Why?’_ ” He said back, “Kara--I’m afraid I don’t quite understand--”

    “-- _Why, do you, like me?_ ”

    “What kind of _question_ is that?” He said incredulously.

    “ _I hurt you! I beat the crap out of you and you just came_ running back _\--that is_ not _a good relationship!_ ”

    “Kara,” he growled, “you were _forced_ to do that--”

    “-- _Did I ever apologize?_ ” She snapped, talking over him, “ _Did I ever once say ‘Mon-El, I am so sorry that I almost_ killed _you the day we met,’ huh? No, I didn’t!_ ”

    “You _more than_ made up for that, Kara,” He said and she shook her head.

    “No-- _no! I didn’t! I can never make up for it! Any of it!_ ” She walked backwards, away from him.

    “Kara,” he said brokenly, “ _please_.”

    “ _‘Please’ what?!_ ” She shouted through her tears, “ _‘Let me forgive you, Kara! Let me take care of you!’ NO! You can’t save me, and I can’t save anyone._ ”

    “ _STOP ACTING LIKE YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE WHO GOT HURT!_ ” He yelled, closing the space between them a bit, “ _I hurt people too Kara! I beat people till they were bloody! My fists hurt too! I keep having flashes of that planet--but the difference is, that I know I deserve forgiveness! Do you see me?! I’m not trying to push_ you _away!”_

    “Oh, because you’re so much more _well-adjusted_ than me!” She snapped.

    “And what does _that_ mean?!” He cried.

    “You don’t even _talk_ about it! You prefer to push everything down inside of you and wait for it to _explode inside your chest_ because you’re _scared!_ You’re scared of facing _what you’ve done_ , and you think that by _forgiving me_ , you are somehow exonerating _yourself,_ but _you’re not!_ ”

    He shook his head, “Oh, _grow up_ , Kara.”

    “Ex _cuse me?_ ” She leaned back.

    “You’re projecting.”

    “I _am not ‘projecting!’_ ” She said disdainfully.

    “You can’t forgive yourself, so you’re trying to make _me_ feel _just as bad_ by telling me that you could never-- _never_ forgive me for doing the same things to stay alive!”

    She shook her head, laughing ironically, “Oh for _Rao’s sake_ , Mon-El--”

    “-- _No!_ ” He cried, “I don’t understand what is so hard about this? Forgiveness is _easy--_ ”

    “--You think it is, _but it’s not!_ ” She bellowed, “You can’t just say: ‘whoop, I hurt hundreds of people I swore to protect but you know? It’s okay, because I forgive myself.’ Because _it doesn’t work like that._ ”

    “Then how _does_ it work?” He asked, putting his hands on his hips.

    “You have to earn it-- _deserve it._ ” She said, “And neither of us do.”

    “I can’t believe you’d say something like that--”

    “--Well, I can _totally_ believe one of you would say something as simple and self-centered as _all the stuff_ you just did.” She snapped.

    She turned and began to walk away, but his voice called her back again.

    “Is _that_ why can’t you accept my advice--my--my _opinions?_ ” He breathed suddenly, “Because I’m from Daxam?”

    She scowled, answering without thinking, “ _YES!_ ”

    “ _Really?_ ” He scoffed, rolling his eyes, “So that’s _really_ how you feel?”

    “ _Yes!_ ” She stomped a foot.

    Mon-El blinked, letting out an uneven breath. He took a small step back, and she could see glassy tears pooling at the edges of his eyelids. She stepped past him and opened the front door, holding it for him.

    “ _Just go_ ,” She sighed tiredly, looking down and avoiding his gaze.

    He didn’t ask her where, and he didn’t bother asking why. He walked past her and out into the hall, turning back to watch her as she closed the door. He took one step down the corridor, and stopped, covering his eyes and bending down. He pressed the bottoms of his palms into his eyelids, willing them to stop leaking.

    Behind her door, she found herself unable to move. She could hear him out there; he was crying. All she needed to do was go and apologize. This heavy weight that had been pulling her down--the one keeping her from flying--she thought it would be lifted through _anger_. She tore up their friendship, broke their trust, and worst of all: she didn’t mean almost any of it.

    She didn’t care that he was a Daxamite--she couldn’t give less of a damn about it. He was someone… he was someone who shouldn’t be in her life; someone who should be far away from her.

    She shoved the tears away, and forced his choked sobs from her ears. She didn’t bother thinking about where he was going to sleep tonight; just thought about how much better off he was, being without her. He couldn’t disagree more. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHHH I'M SORRY GUYS PLEASE DON'T MURDER MEEEE!
> 
> Thank you so so so so SO much to FangirlintheForest <3, ImCamBass (lmaoo sorry to make you wait so long;), Icylightning, xrisapotter, Sarah, Veronica Bangs, CaptainCanary45, AnAverageGirl15, and Obsideon for the lovely comments on the last chapter!


	10. I Found

    “ _Kara, this is Mon-El. Call me back._ ”

    “ _Kara, this is getting ridiculous call me back._ ”

    “ _I know you’re getting all of this ‘voicemail,’ Kara because your voice is the one who tells me to leave it for you. We need to talk. Call me or whatever it is you do on this planet, as long as it’s not long-hand letters because I_ will not _be writing you one of those._ ”

    “ _Okay, maybe I’m not doing this quite right, but, in any case, we have to talk. Kara, this separation--or whatever this is--has got to stop. I can’t--I can’t--I can’t_ sleep _, Kara! I cannot rest, knowing that you--that you’re in this place by yourself. I am so, so alone. Please--_ please _, Kara. Call me back._ ”

    “ _Kara. It’s Mon-El. This is the fifth day you’ve gone without speaking to me. I don’t want to go near you, but we have to resolve this. Call me._ ”

    “ _Kara! Do you plan on doing this for the rest of our lives?! Why must you insist on hurting the both of us?! It isn’t going to make anything better! You’re just making everything worse all over again!_ ”

    “ _Kara. I… I don’t know if you ever listen any of these, but I’ve decided to leave them anyways. Apparently, it’s customary on this planet to speak this things to that weird mechanical voice when you can’t talk face-to-face._

_It’s been, uh, about a week since you kicked me out. I, uh, I’m still really, really mad at you. I don’t care what you say it is, I can’t believe that the woman I… the woman I spent all those months with would write me off like that. You really--wow--that was a low blow, Kara. Insulting my race like you actually give a damn about whether or not I’m a Daxamite? That’s a level of self-destruction I never thought you’d stoop to._

_And it’s not just that! You’re using me to hurt yourself. It’s sick. I can’t believe you don’t see it. And it’s not just you that’s affected. You’re being cruel and unreasonable, and this is the last time I’m going to try and tell you that.”_

_“Hey, Kara, it’s me, Mon-El, uh, again. Last night I was, uh, really upset. I know you’re not going to answer me back, but, I want you to know that I… I miss you. I want to resolve this. I’ve never wanted to fix something in my life more than I want to fix our… our friendship. Please, Kara._ ”

    “ _Kara, it’s Mon-El, uh, again._

 _Please._ ”

    He looked at his phone as he lowered it from his cheek. He sighed and dropped it against the bar, rubbing his brow roughly. A woman behind the counter slid him a glass of something yellow. He glanced up,

    “I, uh, I didn’t order this,” he began.

    “I know,” She smiled, “Giggles over there just thought you could use something a bit stronger.”

    He turned and smiled, lifting his glass at the woman, then turned back to the bartender. She eyed him with curiosity. He raised his brows as he sipped the drink delicately.

    “You’re Mon-El, aren’t you?” She asked.

    “I see you’ve heard the rumors.” he smirked humorlessly.

    “No, I just live with the head of the DEO.” She replied, unfazed.

    His jaw dropped, “I--” he swallowed, “--hi,”

    She smiled, offering a hand across the bar, “I’m M’gann, M’gann M’orzz.”

    “You’re--you’re from Mars too?” He asked excitedly, “That’s--that’s so fascinating, I’ve--I’ve always wanted to go there.”

    “It was beautiful,” she said, “ _once_. It’s not been that way for over three-hundred years.”

    He blinked, “I’m--I’m sorry--”

    “--No, no,” M’gann smiled easily, “it’s not _your_ fault.”

    He chuckled, “Still.”

    She nodded, turning to begin cleaning some glasses, “So J’onn tells me that you just got here.”

    “What gave me away?” He joked.

    “A couple nights ago you weren’t sure you were leaving a voicemail correctly.” She teased lightly. She slid him a glass of water and he gave her his now empty glass, “That was fast.” She observed.

    “Well,” Mon-El smiled a bit drunkenly, “Daxamites like myself were always known for their _tremendous_ ability to drink a lot of alcohol and ignore everything but themselves.”

    M’gann raised her brows. She was surprised he’d say such a thing about his own race. Daxamites had always been very proud people--very self-centered too, of course--but they did have some good moments, and a Daxamite would never speak ill of the dead, let alone the dead of their whole planet.

    He laughed, obviously tipsy, “And like I didn’t already know it, she started telling me.”

    “She said that to you?” M’gann said, not sure who he was talking about.

    “You know,” He said, swallowing his water, “Kara.”

    “Oh,” M’gann said softly, “have you tried talking to her?”

    “I’ve left her a message every single day.”

    “Try actually going to see her.” M’gann suggested.

    “ _Ha!_ ” Mon-El tossed his head back and laughed, “You’re funny.”

    “I’m _serious_ , Mon-El,” She said.

    “Yeah, and I don’t want to die.” He said, hiccuping slightly and looking drunk off his ass.

    He stayed there for a while longer, mooching off everyone in the bar. Eventually he returned to his phone and stared at it. He turned it over and illuminated the screen. There were no new messages. He scowled and scooped it up, dialing her number again.

    “ _Hi, Kara. It’s uh… it’s mee… So I just thought I should let you know… I’m drunk…_ again-- _ha! Ah-ha! And you can’t stop me!_

 _You know something Kara; I had a good long time to think in those cages. There was a lot of quiet time in there… lots of sleeping and crying--I mean, I was crying, were you? Oh wait! Who am I kidding, you’re the girl, of_ steel. _You don’t need anyone! Hah!_

_Well, so I thought a lot--you know, in our cozy, adjoining cells--and, I’ll tell you, I realized about six months in that I came from a planet of terrible people, from horrifying family circumstances and that I’d lived an empty, desolate life, that would never amount to anything. But you know, you--yes you!--made me think that I could be different… maybe, I don’t know because you’re not speaking to me now._

_And anyways! I don’t need you to tell me that! I know that I’m a terrible person and that I deserve nothing good from life either! The point--the point is that all this… stuff. It’s just stuff! You don’t just sit on your ass and pity yourself, right? You’re supposed to work towards redemption! It’s a…_ process _apparently. I don’t--I don’t know, okay?_

 _Whatever, this is--this is just_ pointless _. You don’t give a damn and you know--you know it’s funny because--because you’re the one person--_ the one person _who showed me how to give one._ ”

* * *

    Alex came over and stood next to her sister as they prepared for the party Kara had kindly agreed to host. She began to help clean the nice dishes that had gathered dust over the years. She glanced over at Kara, noticing how she didn’t seem to have any expression at all on her face.

    “Kara,” she said softly, clearing her throat, “what about Mon-El?”

    However small, this got a reaction from the Kryptonian. Her brow twitched ever so slightly; as if someone had flicked her temple.

    “What about him?” She asked, keeping her voice steady.

    “Well,” Alex swallowed, trying to be gentle, “where is he, do you know?”

    “No.”

    Alex frowned. “Do you… want to know?”

    “Why are you asking about him, Alex?” Kara said, meeting her sister’s eye for the first time during this exchange.

    “Because he showed up on the DEO’s doorstep last week and has been sleeping there ever since.” Alex explained. Kara sighed, looking down and turning off the faucet. “What’s going on, Kara?”

    Kara shook her head, not wanting to answer.

    “Kara, I’m not an idiot.” Alex said suddenly, “All that stuff you said about him during the… debrief. It was all a ploy, wasn’t it?”

    Kara bit the inside of her cheek.

    “You knew that he was back there--you wanted him to think you didn’t care.” She said.

    Kara swallowed, “Maybe then he’d make better use of his time.”

    “Kara!” Alex scolded, stepping in front of her sister, “You _have_ to stop doing stuff like this.”

    “Like what?”

    “You--when you’re worried about someone you care about, you push them away or say things to them that you don’t mean. You did it to me when you found out I worked for the DEO--you did it to _James_ when he told you he was Guardian.” Alex said, “I mean, this isn’t _exactly_ the same, but it’s similar.”

    Kara glanced into the living room, finding Maggie looking at her from where she was squatted down with Raimy.

    “Kara,” Alex commanded her attention once more, “how do you _feel_ when you’re around him?”

    “What?” Kara asked, perplexed by the question.

    “Just, the first thing that pops into your head,” Alex said, “ _go_.”

    Kara blinked, her mind moving in circles, “I--”

    “--Just say one word,” Alex suggested, “when you hear the word ‘Mon-El’ what comes to mind first?”

    “Daxamite.”

    Alex rolled her eyes, “Okay _second_ thing.”

    “Red.” She said.

    Alex tilted her head, and Kara shrugged.

    “Uh, okay what else?” Alex shook her head slightly as if to clear it.

    Kara looked down at their feet, touching her glasses.

    “Kind.” She said.

    “Okay,” Alex smiled sadly, touching Kara’s shoulder, “what else?”

    “Safe.”

    Alex titled her head, “You mean… You feel safe around him…? Or… You want to keep him safe?”

    Kara shrugged.

    “Kara…” Alex sighed, pulling her sister into a hug. “You have to hold onto things that make you feel safe _and_ things you want to keep safe.”

    Kara rubbed her arm, looking down.

    “I’ve seen the way… I’ve seen the way you relax around him,” Alex whispered, “when you take his hand.”

    They pulled apart, and Kara gave her sister a teary smile.

    “Helping yourself isn’t selfish,” Alex said, holding her sister’s shoulders, “asking for help and comfort isn’t _wrong_ , Kara. In fact, it’s just the opposite.”

    Another hand touched Kara’s back, and she turned to see Maggie smiling, rubbing her spine comfortingly. Kara moved, wrapping Maggie up into a firm hug. Maggie chuckled, gripping her back. They pulled apart, and Maggie began,

    “Kara,” she said gently, “after you disappeared, Alex and I… we both went and got the help we needed to… keep going.”

    Kara nodded, “I’m sorry,”

    “No, no!” Maggie touched her shoulder, “It’s not your fault, Kara, none of it is. We just both needed to talk to someone.”

    Maggie glanced over Kara’s shoulder at her wife anxiously.

    “Your sister and I, we were wondering if maybe you’d go talk to someone, about… about that place. You and Mon-El both should really go talk to someone, it can really be useful if you give it the right time and--”

    “--Yes.” Kara interrupted.

    “Really?” Alex said, gaping slightly.

    Kara wiped her cheek, turning to look at her sister, “I can use all the help I can get, right?”

    Alex smiled, yanking her back into a long embrace, Maggie putting her arms around both of them.

    “ _Thank you_.” Kara sniffed, moving one hand and lacing her fingers through one of Maggie’s, as if to try and convey the deep emotions of safety and happiness these two women had created for her.

* * *

    The dull roar of the apartment faded away as Raimy stole Kara’s attention. She crawled through the almost closed door to Kara’s bedroom, stopping at the foot of her bed. She clambered up onto the couch that sat there, and then up onto the mattress, scooting over to where her aunt sat leaning against the headboard. Raimy leaned on Kara’s thigh and peered up into her aunt’s face. Kara smiled, her eyes filled with sadness.

    “Hey, there, sweetie.” She cooed, letting Raimy look at her with those beautiful brown eyes. A gentle smile spread across Kara’s face as they stared at each other.

    Raimy plopped down next to Kara, leaning against her and tugging at the blanket on top of the comforter. Kara obliged, pulling it up and laying it across their laps. She was rewarded with a toothless smile. Kara’s heart warmed, and everyone else in her flat seemed to fade away completely behind the sliding doors.

    Comparatively, it was a rather small gathering; just their closest friends celebrating the new year in Raimy’s life. It felt much larger than under fifteen people to Kara though. Alex kept checking in on her and she kept saying she was fine. By this time in her life, if she was good at anything, it was acting. She’d decided to take a break in her room a while ago, finding how no one seemed to notice that she was gone.

    There was a knock at the door, that Kara didn’t hear. Maggie jogged over, opening it with a warm smile on her face.

    “Mon-El!” She said, “You made it!”

    “I--what?” He blinked, looking over the small woman at all the people in the apartment. “--I _mean_ , yes! Yes, of course!”

    “Well come on in, then!” Maggie stepped aside, ushering him forwards, “Here, I’ll take your coat for you.”

    “Oh, thank you.” He said, “I, uh, haven’t been to a party in a while.”

    “Well,” Maggie smiled, handing him a glass of something strong-smelling, “I’m glad this could be your first.”

    Alex came over, “Mon-El,” she said awkwardly, “uh--hi.”

    “Hi.” He nodded, wanting to avoid the pitiful look she held behind those eyes. “I’m gonna, um, I’m gonna go find, Kara.”

    “Oh, sure, go ahead.” Alex nodded, stepping out of his way.

    He tread carefully, looking around suspiciously at all these people he didn’t know. He heard a gentle voice through the din, and turned towards her room, finding Kara and her niece on the bed. The circles under Kara’s eyes were more intense than the last time he saw her; her smile much more strained.

    He slid slowly through, closing the doors behind him. She looked up, and froze. She turned away and he sighed.

    “Kara, please,” he began, his voice breaking, “I can’t--I can’t lose this.”

    He took a step closer to her, and saw a tear slip from her cheek to the covers of her bed.

    “I’ve lost _everything_ , Kara, and I can’t lose you. I can let you--I can’t let you _push_ me away.” He came to stand next to her. “Please, Kara. _Please_.”

    She sniffed, wiping her face hastily and avoiding his gaze.

    He sat down gently, the bed sinking slowly as he did. He never pulled his eyes away from her.

    “Talk to me,” he breathed, “what can I--what can I do? What will make it better?”

    She shook her head, “I’m a monster, Mon-El.”

    He looked down, stifling a sob.

    “There’s nothing you can do but get away from me before I destroy your life.” She said.

    “What’s the difference between me and Alex?” He asked, “How come she gets another chance at a relationship with you?”

    “I already ruined her life,” Kara said, turning to him abruptly, “I _owe_ it to her--to her _family_ \--to try and fix all the things I broke.”

    “Why not me?” He asked, “Why am I not good enough--?”

    “--You’re _too good,_ Mon-El!” She cried, “You have a future--a _bright_ one--one where I’m not there to ruin things for you.”

    “I don’t _want_ that one, Kara!”

    “ _Why?_ Why _not?_ ”

    “I don’t want a future where _you’re_ unhappy!”

    “ _I don’t deserve this!_ ” She yelled suddenly, “I am a _horrible_ person, Mon-El. But you’re--you’re _not_. You’re _pure_ , and _kind_ and you _deserve_ better than someone like me.”

    “Kara,” he scooted closer to her, “you deserve _everything_ in the _world_. You are so selfless and brave and inspiring; the whole _universe_ looks up to you.

    But you don’t _have_ to be Supergirl; you don’t have to be anyone to be like that. You just--you just are, okay? You’re brilliant, and so, _so_ courageous; I--I really admire that about you. Don’t let it all go now--not after all this time.

    You deserve a life of happiness and prosperity, and if you think that your life-- _your_ life, not mine--will be better if I’m not in it, then just say the word; I’ll be gone.” He said, his voice soft.

    She took a breath, looking back and forth between his deep, gray eyes.

    “I’m sorry,” she said, leaning towards him. “I’m so, so, sorry--”

    “--I know,” he breathed, pulling her close.

    “I just… I hate feeling like this.” She said.

    “Like what?”

    “So… vulnerable.”

    He laughed, “You’re the strongest person I know, Kara.” He gave her a watery smile, “It’s okay to be vulnerable sometimes.”

    She nodded and they were silent for a moment. “It’s just hard.” She said.

    He looked at her sadly and bowed his head, brushing a finger over her hair. “I know, Kara.”

    “Why--” She swallowed, her voice so soft he could barely hear it, “--why aren’t I happy?”

    “ _Kara_ …” He breathed, scooting closer as she buried her face into to his chest.

    “I’m _home_ ,” She said, “I’m _here_. I should be happy-- _I should be happy_.”

    He closed his eyes and looked down at the bed as she held back the water welling up in her eyes again. She looked up at him and watched as a tear slipped its way out of his eyelid. It hit his cheek and bounced off, landing next to them and sinking into the linen.

    “Why do I keep feeling like I’m still there? Why do I keep seeing the sun in the sky I could never touch? Why do I keep feeling the sand underneath my feet and the air _burning_ in my lungs--why do I still feel them; cowering beneath me, feeling my fists hitting them _over_ and _over_ again--”

    She pulled herself out of his arms and his chest ached for her to return.

    “-- _Why won’t they leave me alone?!_ ” She squeezed her eyes shut and then threw herself against the headboard, away from his embrace and pressing her hands against the hollows of her skull.

    He watched her, tears stinging his eyes. Her ribs shook as they rose, and then fell smoothly as she exhaled.

    “I don’t think they’re ever going to leave us alone.” He whispered. “Any of us.”

    She didn’t move, but he could tell she was listening.

    “All those people,” He said slowly, sliding up closer to her, “they’re spread all across the galaxy by now. They’re sitting somewhere--maybe in a bar, maybe in a hotel, maybe in their homes, with their _families_ \--and they’re thinking the same things; _feeling_ the same way.”

    She didn’t move, only pressed her hands harder against her skull. He sighed and put a gentle hand on her knee.

    “Nobody blames you, Kara.” He said softly, “Take it from someone who fought you in the ring.”

    She snorted, looking up at him.

    “I’m so sorry,” She breathed.

    He nodded, “I know.”

    She covered her face again and he enveloped her in his arms. She pressed her forehead against his collarbone and felt as his whole body shook. She ran a hand up over his heart, slowly wrapping around to cup his neck. They pulled apart and looked into each other’s eyes, her thumb brushing his cheek.

    Suddenly, a small hand touched Kara’s leg. They both looked down to see Raimy looking up at them. Kara glanced out of the corner of her eye at Mon-El, watching his face light up. His smile was contagious.

    “Hey you!” He laughed, scooping her up and sitting her in his lap so she was facing him. “How are you doing?”

    Kara leaned her arm on his shoulder, beaming down at her niece. She bit her thumb gently and looked over at Mon-El again. He looked radiant; like the sun.

    He began to make silly faces at the two-year-old, talking to her in a voice Kara only ever heard him use around her. She reached up, and he leaned closer, letting her touch his face. He laughed, and the little girl did too. She’d never seen him look so at peace.

    Alex opened the door carefully, finding the pair holding her daughter. Kara scooped up Raimy out of Mon-El’s lap and leaning against him, began to play peek-a-boo with her. Mon-El grinned, waving over Kara’s shoulder every once and a while. Alex’s brows rose, a smile spreading across her face. She leaned against the wall, crossing her arms.

    “Alex, where’s--” Maggie began, walking up to her.

    “--Shh,” She said softly, nodding to the couple inside.

    Maggie turned, beaming. She wrapped her arms around Alex’s waist, leaning her cheek on her wife’s shoulder. Alex moved an arm to wipe a tear off her cheek.

    “What’s wrong?” Maggie straightened, looking up at Alex with concern.

    “I’ve just--” Alex choked a bit, “--I’ve _dreamt_ about this moment. Her being back, her meeting our _daughter_ \--it’s just… so surreal.”

    “Not quite how you imagined it, huh?” Maggie teased gently, earning a teary laugh from her wife.

    “If I’m dreaming, Maggs,” She whispered, “ _please_ don’t wake me.”

    “Wouldn’t dream of it.” Maggie said, standing on her tiptoes and giving Alex a quick peck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT!! Thanks so much for all the kudos and to Iaintnosidekick, CaptainCanary45, Sarah, SupernaturalIdjit16, ImCamBass, FangirlintheForest, AnAverageGirl15, emilaysjonas, Sunflower_Nation <3, Karamel_fangirl_emarasmoak, and moongrim for the lovely--and some life-threatening (but lovely none the less)--comments XD. Hope you all liked! New chapter to come soon ;)


	11. Looking Out For You

    Mon-El watched his hand as it moved across a dark, smooth, surface. He pulled the rag up and looked at it pensively. He draped it over his shoulder, feeling that it was the right place for it to be. The woman who was working with him smiled up at it.

    “You look like a real bartender now.” She smirked and he laughed.

    “You think so?” He asked.

    “Mhm.” She nodded, “Now all you need is to remember the difference between Club Soda and Vodka.”

    He frowned, “Hm.”

    She sighed tiredly, “Mon-El, I know you’re new to this planet, but I didn’t know you were so _dense_ as to think those two things look or taste the same.”

    He grinned, “It was one time, M’gann, _one time!_ ”

    She wagged a finger at him, “One time _too many_.”

    He laughed, and she turned to go make her rounds. He enjoyed her company. She was from Mars; a planet he’d never had the pleasure of visiting with his father while he was alive. He hoped that someday she’d tell him about it. He found that learning about distant places was a welcome distraction.

    The night after he got drunk off whatever she gave him, he’d been at the bar, and they’d gotten to talking again, mostly about how he was such a bum, sitting there without a drink and wishing he hand enough money to buy one. She’d smiled and asked if he knew anything about mixing one. He’d looked up, and with a straight face, told her he was from Daxam.

    She’d laughed and they’d talked about the logistics of a job here. Since he wasn’t here of legal means, she said she could pay him under the table (he had no clue what that meant) and that he could start tomorrow. She’d said that just before Kara had disappeared, the bar had been destroyed quite completely, leaving them understaffed. Few people stayed there as bartenders for long, and she could tell he needed something to take his mind off of wherever he’d been.

    Mon-El looked up as a new person entered the bar, and grinned. “Margret!” He called cheerfully, and Maggie smiled,

    “Hey, Mon-El,” She slid into a stool.

    “No Raimy I see?” He said and she shook her head,

    “Nope. Not until she’s twenty-one.” She laughed and he cocked his head slightly. “Oh--it’s the, uh, legal drinking age for humans in this country.”

    “Hm.” He nodded, “Well, uh, can I get you anything, Margret?”

    “Oh, just a water for me, thanks,” She scratched behind her ear, “and it’s uh, just Maggie by the way, no one calls me ‘Margaret’ except my grandma.”

    “Ah,” he nodded, handing her a glass of water, “got it.”

    She smiled and took a sip as he talked to the guys sitting next to her. He slid back down the bar to her and spoke again.

    “So,” he said slowly, “what brings you here? From what I understand, you’re, uh, not supposed to be drinking _‘on the clock_ ’”

    “Nice, lingo, Daxamite!” She said, impressed.

    “Winn has introduced me to this thing called ‘ _Netflix._ ’” Mon-El explained--obviously very proud of himself--as Maggie nodded, trying to subdue her laugh.

    “Well, we don’t have the same hours; I get off work at six, and it’s…” She checked her watch, “almost eight, so I should get home, since my CI doesn’t appear to be showing up anytime soon.”

    “Sorry,” He said, pretending he had any idea what a CI was.

    “Your shift almost done?” Maggie changed the subject.

    “Oh, yeah,” He nodded.

    “You need a lift?”

    “I don’t know how well you’d be able to lift me, Maggie--”

    “--I meant, do you need a _ride?_ ” She chuckled, and he shook his head, a soft smile on his features,

    “No, no, I’ll be alright.”

    “You sure? I don’t mind--”

    “--Really, Maggie, I’ll be fine,” He patted her shoulder and she winced slightly, “besides, I like the walk.”

    “Alright, whatever you say!” She smiled, “I should, uh, get going.”

    He took her empty glass and tucked it into a sink, “See you around, Maggie.”

* * *

    The truth was, Mon-El didn’t want Maggie to know exactly what he did on his walk home. He didn’t think of it this way, but it could be construed as ‘looking for trouble.’ He walked into the apartment slowly, glancing around.

    “Kara?” He called, to which there was no answer.

    He put down his backpack on the counter, dropping his keys next to it. Glancing around, he went over to the sink, quickly rinsing his hands, dark scarlet residue disappearing down the drain.

    He straightened, wiping his hands on his jeans. Just as he was walking into the bedroom, she was coming out. They bumped into each other and she stepped back, blinking.

    “Hey,” He smiled, “how was your first day back at work--?”

    “--Mon-El,” she began, “what is this?”

    She lifted up a shirt, and he smirking, believing this to be some kind of joke. “One of my shirts.”

    She turned it around, revealing the front, which was riddled with holes. He closed his mouth swiftly, swallowing. Carefully, he met her eyes, searching for fury or disappointment. He found nothing.

    She touched her glasses and looked down at the shred of fabric. “I--I found it in the trash, Mon-El.”

    “Kara, I,” He sighed, lost for words. “Are you upset?”

    “What? No, you can do whatever you want!” She said quickly, and he smiled.

    “Oh, right.”

    “But, I am a bit sad that you didn’t tell me.” She glanced down, shuffling her feet, “But I, uh, I understand why.”

    He nodded, and they were silent for a long moment. She stared down at their shoes and he watched her carefully, wondering what she was thinking about.

    “Are you being careful?” She asked abruptly.

    “What?” He blinked.

    “Are you being careful when you’re out there,” she swallowed, “saving people.”

    “Yes, of course,” He nodded, “I, uh, are you mad?”

    She paused, looking surprised, “No, I just… I don’t know, never mind.” She handed him the shirt and turned, moving away.

    “Kara, wait--”

    “--I have to go, Mon-El.” She said, “I, uh, I have a--somewhere to be.”

    He caught her wrist, stepping closer and putting his hands on her shoulders, “Come with me.”

    She raised her brows, “Wha-- _what?_ ” She breathed.

    “Come and help people, like you used to.” He said, and she shook her head.

    “Mon-El, I can’t--”

    “--It might make you feel better-- _safer._ ” He countered.

    She swallowed, “--I just… I can’t.”

    She bustled past him, walking to the front door, grabbing her purse on the way. He watched her disappear behind the door and sighed, putting the shirt down on the counter.

    Kara stumbled out onto the street, looking about frantically. She suddenly had this overwhelming feeling of being watched; like everyone everywhere could see her and was following her every move. She bent down, gripping her head. She fell forwards slightly and caught herself on a traffic sign; it bent. She stepped away and sat down on a bench.

    Her heart was beating fast in her chest. There was a pressure building inside her, but she also felt light and flighty; almost numb. All of the city’s sounds echoed around in her skull; a horn honking angrily, a child crying, tires squealing, people yelling and lights switching. Her lungs felt shallow, like they couldn’t take a breath worth inhaling.

    She closed her eyes and pressed a palm to her chest. She forced herself to suck in a huge gulp of air, and held it. She’d just started going to see someone twice a week, and she’d suggested that Kara hold her breath for as long as she could, and count slowly. She did this a few times, blocking out everything except the numbers.

    She slumped back against the bench and blinked. She looked up, and let out a nervous chuckle. That was the first time it had ever worked. She looked around, and felt herself breathing normally. She let out another spurt of laughter, and then bent over, laughing. She wiped a tear off her cheek and stood, straightening herself.

    Suddenly, she heard a scream. She turned, and couldn’t see anything. She could feel her heart beating in her skull, and this sudden rush through her body. It was familiar and she couldn’t place it. Heat ran through her, making her skin tingle and her palms twitch. She wanted to move, but something kept her feet still. She couldn’t, she wouldn’t help, she’d only make things worse, whatever it was; someone would find them and help, someone more qualified than Kara. The scream came again, this time much more pained. And before she could stop herself, she lurched forwards, running towards the sound.

    Her foot slammed into a puddle and the water sprayed her glasses. She ripped them off, tucking them into her pocket. She skidded down an alley, and found a form lying against one of the walls. They were slumped forwards, their leg sticking out. The street lamp above them flickered on again, and Kara gasped.

    It was a young girl, no older than twenty, and she was bleeding out into the street. She’d practically passed out, holding her side, and gasping for air. Kara couldn’t move. The girl’s leg was shattered, the bone sticking up out of the skin and the blood dripping out into the street. She opened one eye hopelessly and tilted her head slightly, listening, just as the street light went out again.

    “ _Help,_ ” She wheezed.

    Kara felt something clench inside her chest, and she moved closer. She knelt down next to the girl and tore her eyes away from the blood she could still smell through that deafening darkness. She touched the girl’s shoulder, and she jumped.

    “Shh…” Kara cooed, brushing a piece of hair off the girl’s forehead, “I’m going to help you, okay?”

    “Who are you?” The girl said, blinking and flickering her eyes about nervously.

    “I’m…” Kara faltered slightly, “… A friend--what’s your name?”

    “Calla,” She hiccuped, and Kara nodded.

    “Good, that’s good.” She slipped an arm underneath her legs and Calla cried out. “It’s okay, I’m going to get you to a hospital okay?”

    “Put your arms around me, Calla.”

    “Wha--why?”

    “I’m going to carry you, okay?”

    Calla blinked, and then nodded, lifting her arms up, and letting Kara tuck her head under them. The palms shook intensely, wiping some of the scarlet liquid onto Kara as stood, and stumbled slightly. Calla gripped her neck tighter and Kara’s face hardened. Kara looked up, and saw the thin layer of dark clouds covering the sky. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Opening them again, she leapt up into the air.

    Calla gasped, the wind whipping her hair about, flecks of her blood flying away into the wind. She squeezed her eyes shut and pressed closer to Kara. She stopped ascending and glanced down at the girl, a new spark of wonder in her eye. She sped forwards, reveling in the night air as it brushed her skin. She twisted around buildings and moved through clouds.

    Finally, she saw a hospital, and she descended quickly down. She took a misstep as she landed and almost fell forwards onto Calla, but she stopped herself. Calla squealed nervously and Kara laughed gently,

    “Everything’s okay, Calla, everything’s going to be fine.” Calla nodded sleepily, and Kara shook her slightly, “Calla, come on, stay with me okay?”

    Calla forced her eyes open slightly and then let them slip closed again, swallowing slowly. Kara walked into the hospital and looked about frantically, taken aback by all of the chaos.

    “Are we here?” Calla said drowsily, unable to open her eyes.

    Kara centered herself and nodded, “Yeah.”

    Calla moved one of her hands and put it over Kara’s heart as they walked forwards, “Your pulse is racing,” she said softly, “what’s wrong?”

    “There’s--there’s a lot of noise.” Kara said, seeing nurses running towards them. “Makes me a bit nervous.”

    “What have you got to be nervous about, Supergirl?” Calla said softly, smiling weakly up at Kara as doctors took her from the Kryptonian’s arms.

    Kara paused, and watched as Calla opened up her clouded eyes, staring up at the ceiling blankly. Calla winced and a nurse looked at her,

    “ _What happened?_ ” She said, but Kara couldn’t pull her eyes away from the young girl as she was carted away. “ _Miss! You have to tell me anything you can about her condition!_ ”

    “I--” Kara faltered, “--I found her like--like that--will she be okay?”

    The woman crinkled her brow, “We’ll do our best.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU ALL FOR THE SUPPORT!! The next chapter is littt so be on the lookout! Thanks especially to emilaysjonas, SupernaturalIdjit16, CaptainCanary45, xrisapotter, Sunflower_Nation, chocaholic_78, Karamel_fangirl_emarasmoak, Katie, Karamello for their lovely comments on the last chapter!! Lost of love to you all xoxo


	12. Breathe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHH THIS WAS PREMATURE (SINCE I HAVEN'T WRITTEN THE NEXT CHAPTER YET) BUT I COULDN'T WAAIIIIITTT

    Kara watched her foot as it went over the threshold, automatic doors sliding around her. Her hands adjusted their grip on the base of the flower pot she was holding. She walked over to the front desk, her voice so soft the woman asked her to repeat the name of the person she was here to see. The nurse nodded and asked Kara to wait for a moment.

    A man in a clean white coat walked out of a hall and over to where Kara had been told to sit. She stood, and shook his hand.

    "I am so glad you're here, he has no emergency contact, we didn't know who to call and then we asked and he said that he has no family."

    "I'm sorry, who--who are you talking about?"

    "You are the woman that found him, right?" He asked and Kara tilted her head slightly.

    "Who?"

    "The young Vietnamese boy, two days ago, he was brought in?" The doctor said.

    "No, I brought in a young _girl_ who introduced herself to me as _Calla_. She was stabbed in the side and her leg was--was--"

    "--Completely shattered from the knee down?" The doctor suggested and Kara nodded. "I think I know what's going on here--it was my mistake, we are talking about the same person but it appears I've been using, some, uh, _dated_ information. The last time he-- _she,_ excuse me please--came in for an eye exam she was still identifying herself with her given name and gender, I am so sorry."

    Kara nodded and the doctor began to walk slowly.

    "Calla suffers from a something that affects one in ten thousand people. It's called Fundus Flavimaculatus but is more commonly known as Stargardt's Disease. This, simply, causes all of its sufferers to lose their sight, maybe not fully but a substantial amount. Calla lost the ability to see entirely before she graduated high school."

    "That's terrible," Kara breathed.

    "She has absolutely no way of identifying her attackers, and there is practically no hope for prosecution because there were no fingerprints anywhere. She reported her purse and wallet missing as well as a broken finger from where someone tried to rip a piece of jewelry off--they did not succeed." He continued, "She doesn't seem to want to talk about what happened with anyone, so just be gentle, okay?"

    Kara blinked and then nodded, "Yeah--yes of course."

    "Come on in, then." He opened a door, and Kara stepped inside. Calla lay on her back, staring straight upwards without moving. Kara turned and nodded to the doctor who closed the door behind him.

    "He told you about my condition, huh?" Calla said.

    Kara smiled sadly, putting the flowers down next to her bed and sitting down carefully. "Yeah,"

    "So I guess you know you're secret's safe with me, Supergirl; I couldn't tell anyone what you looked like out of that cape." She laughed, "Even if I could though, I want you to know that I wouldn't."

    "I believe you." Kara beamed.

    Calla swallowed and spoke again after a brief pause, "I didn't think you would come and visit me. I didn't think anyone would."

    Kara looked down at her clasped hands and bit the inside of her cheek.

    "I half thought I imagined you." Calla smirked.

    "What do you mean?" Kara snorted.

    " _Supergirl?_ Coming out of hiding after _eight years_ to help _me?_ " She shook her head, scoffing.

    "You don't think you're worth saving?" Kara asked before she could stop herself.

    Calla shrugged, "No one else did. Why would the girl of steel?"

    Kara didn't know how to answer; she only swallowed and clenched her fists nervously. She looked down again and twitched. She rolled her shoulders and stared up at Calla's profile.

    "I was having a panic attack." Kara said slowly.

    Calla tilted her head, frowning, "What?"

    "I was having a panic attack and just as I was getting myself to calm down, I heard your scream." Kara said, "I knew immediately that you were worth saving, and if no one else would try and help, then I had a responsibility to."

    Calla smiled and wiped the cheek that was away from Kara. "Why--why were you--having a, uh--"

    "--Panic attack?" Kara suggested gently, understanding how awkward of a question it was to ask. She chuckled anxiously, "Many reasons."

    Calla shifted in her bed, rolling onto her side and looking in the direction of Kara's voice. "I got nothin' but time, Supergirl."

    Kara smiled, "Please, call me Kara."

    Calla nodded, "Alright, Kara. So all the tabloids said that you'd settled down and started raising kids, which I though, personally was absolute, sexist bullshit."

    Kara laughed outright, "Of course that's what everyone would think--female superhero disappears; must be because she met a _guy_."

    "What, you not into guys, Kara?" Calla smirked.

    Kara smiled, "I don't know, honestly," she said thoughtfully, "I mean, I do _like_ _guys_ but I've never been totally against the idea of... liking girls too... I, uh, I think it all really depends on the person you know?"

    "Well, I'm usually attracted to girls alone so I can't really help you out there." Calla replied. She put her hands under her head, "So where... where have you been?"

    Kara squirmed slightly in her chair. "I was taken off-planet by some people, to another world."

    "Woah,"

    Kara nodded, "They kept me in a cage, completely alone, and they brought me out to fight other aliens."

    Calla sat up straight, wincing slightly, " _What?_ Kara, that's--that's--that's _terrible!_ Are you... are you seeing someone to, you know talk about this stuff? After my, uh, after my parents died, I lost my sight completely, and then had to admit my brother to a psychiatric facility."

    Kara blinked, "I am so sorry, Calla,"

    She nodded, "I was, uh, completely alone, and so I started to go talk to someone, I hope that's what you're doing too."

    "Yeah, I, uh, my sister," She touched her glasses, "she and her wife convinced me to go. It, uh, it's been really helping.

    They were silent for a long moment, and then Calla asked the next question at barely a whisper. "How--how did you escape?"

    Kara swallowed, "It took me a long time, but I finally memorized the stretches of tunnel. After a while, they, uh, brought in someone else who was in the cell next to mine. He helped me get out."

    "Where is he now? Is he okay?" Calla asked anxiously.

    "Yeah, he's, uh, he's safe; he's living with me." Kara said.

    "Is he talking to someone?" She continued and Kara thought for a moment.

    "Yeah," Kara said, "he's got a lot more to work on than just those memories."

    Calla frowned.

    "When he was younger he... well, let's just say he sought affection that was never really returned." Kara said carefully.

    "Does he know you're Supergirl?"

    "Oh, yeah, but I'm, uh, I'm not really her anymore." Kara said, "He's been trying to, uh, convince me to, uh, try it again--he thinks it'll help me somehow."

    "You disagree?" Calla asked.

    Kara swallowed, "It won't."

    "How do you know?" Calla continued gently.

    "I, uh, I did some things that I'm not proud of--I hurt people. Those people they--they--they're out of my life, and I don't want to continue to _hurt_ people like they wanted me to.." She said. "I've tried to tell him that any times, and it's not as though he's not listening to me, I know he's, uh, I know he's just worried. He was pretty sure I was done with all of it, so you can imagine how surprised he was the other night when I came home covered in blood."

    Calla laughed and they sat in a comfortable silence for another minute; she thinking and Kara glancing about the room casually.

    "Kara," Calla began slowly, "you do realize that no one here knows what you did on that planet."

    "What do you mean?"

    "If you're worried about the image you're presenting, you shouldn't; no one knows about the things you're afraid to tell me except maybe your friend."

    "It's--it's not about the public's perception, it's about... it's about _mine_." Kara replied, furrowing her brow defensively.

    "Don't you think a better way to perform penance is by serving the people? Saving people instead of hurting them. I mean, if you believe in some sort of--of _cosmic_ _balance_ or whatever, don't you think that the way to set the record straight is to continue the work of good? In a way, by not being Supergirl--a mantle you seemed to love upholding--you're letting those people who took you win. You're letting them pervert your view of yourself."

    Kara sat and took that all in. Calla knew that she needed a moment, and so she sat and waited, watching the space she believed Kara to occupy. Kara had never thought about that.

* * *

    Kara woke up, and stumbled out of bed, feet hitting the floor heavily. She stepped out into the living room. She stopped in the doorway, leaning against it. Her eyes had caught the sleeping form of Mon-El, laying on her couch.

    Her breathing began to slow, air hissing out from in between her lips at a steadier pace. She turned away and slipped down, the frame splintering her spine through her cotton shirt. She hit the floor with a _thump_ , closing her eyes and putting her head in her hand.

    Mon-El sat up, spluttering and looking around, his hair a mess. "Who--?"

    She sighed, "It's just me, Mon-El."

    "Kara?" His voice floated through the dark, noticeably gentler.

    "Yeah," she breathed, staring at a distant place she couldn't quite see.

    She heard footsteps, and looked up, finding Mon-El sitting down across from her, crossing his legs and looking at her quizzically.

    "Something wrong?" He asked softly.

    She shook her head, pinching the bridge of her nose as she tried to keep from crying. She was unsuccessful. She wiped a tear hastily away, pretending it hadn't fallen.

    He knew all too well how sleep had upset her. "You wanna talk about it?"

    "No," she hiccuped, "not really."

    He nodded, looking down at his hands.

    She sniffed angrily, "I just want to forget about it. All of it."

    He glanced up at her, and his toes curled. "I know,"

    There was a pause, where Mon-El looked down at the floor, and she glanced into the living room, watching it sit perfectly still.

    "Kara, about the other night I," He swallowed, "I shouldn't have pushed you, I'm sorry."

    She watched his downcast face and his hands as they twitched nervously.

    "You... you know yourself best. If--if not being Supergirl makes you feel happy and safe, then that's what you should do, I shouldn't have asked again, I'm sorry. I got--I got so caught up in how it felt to save people that I didn't think about how you were feeling. I'm so, _so_ , sorry."

    She nodded, and he looked up at her. She avoided his gaze and turned to her lap.

    "And that night when you came home... covered in all of that blood I--" His voice cracked, and he looked down, "I was so scared, Kara, I just--I'm scared for you. If there's anything-- _anything_ at all--that I can, you know, do to help you in any way, _please_ , just tell me."

    She nodded, hand swiping across her skin quickly, "Thank you, Mon-EL."

    She thought about everything that Calla had said to her that day; she looked at him, and she felt this tightness inside her chest loosen just a little bit. She wanted him to feel the slack too.

    "You're a good person, you know." She said suddenly.

    "What?" He laughed slightly.

    She shrugged, "I--I don't know, I just... I thought I should remind you, in case you'd, uh... in case you'd forgotten."

    He smiled sadly. "You are too, you know."

    She shook her head, looking down and covering her face. He scooted across the floor quickly, touching her wrist gently. "Kara,"

    She looked up at him, and sniffed. She sat forwards and wrapped her arms about his shoulders, pulling him into a tight hug. She leaned back, and they pressed their foreheads together, his hand cupping the base of her skull reassuringly. Her fingers slid down so they were pressed firm against his heart.

    He tipped his head up and kissed the dip between her nose and her cheekbone. He stayed there for a long moment, and her eyelids slipped closed. He could taste the salt of her tears, and when he pulled away and pressed his forehead back against hers, she let out a shaky breath that he took in gratefully.

    She opened her eyes and studied his as they stayed squeezed shut. She looked at him, and she knew that what she'd been scared to think for a long time, was true.

    She didn't want to be apart from the prince of Daxam; not for a long time to come, at least.

    She straightened and ghosted her lips against his and then pulled back. His whole body shook, and his face leaned closer, yearning for her touch again. She watched him curiously, wondering if she should. The movement had been there, squatting in the back of her mind since she watched him in that spaceship--since it had become a remote possibility.

    He opened his eyes and slid his hand gently to a spot in between her shoulder blades. Their eyes flickered back and forth. She yanked him closer.

    The kiss was _searing_. There was an urgency that was altogether overwhelming. Her hands tugged at his hair, nails scratching at his skin. She yanked his shirt over his head and he took a short breath, his heartbeat rising. He whipped the shirt across the room, ignoring the noise as something crashed to the ground. He moved back to her desperately, kissing her neck. She dug her fingers into his shoulders.

    Arching her back, she pressed against him even further, making him lean back slightly, catching himself on the hardwood floor with one, steady palm. She snaked her hands around his waist and straightened him, making sure he wouldn't come close to falling again.

    They stood, and he yanked her t-shirt off over her head. She tossed it away, and he tugged her camisole off. She threw her arms back around his neck, as his ran down her body, lifting her up so her legs were wrapped about his waist. Her hands curled roughly in his hair, as her mouth sucked gently on his lower lip.

    They walked deeper into her room, and fell against the bed, never breaking away from one another, or considering the idea that what they were doing was somehow the wrong course of action. This was the most normal, natural thing either of them had felt in _years_.

* * *

    Mon-El twisted the end of one golden curl in between the tips on the first two fingers on his right hand. His left held the base of his skull, pressing into the soft, blue pillows on Kara's bed. He glanced down at her sleeping face as it rested against his heart. She clung to him, one arm thrown across his abdomen and the other under his shoulder, holding him still. Being trapped had never been so comfortable.

    Every time he blinked, his mind flashed backwards. She was above him, her eyes closed, her arms around his shoulders, her breath labored and her skin covered in sweat. Her hands were everywhere, her lips pressed firmly against his. She was the most beautiful thing he'd ever had the pleasure of holding, and he was the same to her. His skin tingled with the memories of the words she'd whispered against it.

    He took a shaky breath, and remembered her voice cutting through the air, her eyes shining in the dark. The way they'd paused, and she'd just let him hold her hand, like they'd done all those times before. His whole body was buzzing. He couldn't understand how she was able to sleep; he felt like he could run all the way around the world.

    She sighed and turned over, her chin digging slightly into the soft part of his stomach just below his ribs. He couldn't help but let out a gentle chuckle. She opened her eyes blearily, and dragged her hand back across his body. She rested her chin on top of it and smiled at him sleepily.

    "Hey," He beamed.

    "Hi." She smirked, tossing her head slightly to move the pieces of damp hair that clung to her forehead.

    "What were you dreaming about?" He asked gently, moving the strands for her.

    She paused, "I don't remember." She said and he smiled.

    "Probably for the better."

    She began to trace a soft circle against his skin with her forefinger. She watched it pensively and he admired her through the shade, her bare back illuminated by colors and lights from the city outside. Her window was open behind her, the curtains billowing in the wind, a soft, cool breeze floating about the room.

    "So, that was, uh," he cleared his throat, "really nice."

    She met his eyes and smiled abashedly. "Yeah?"

    " _Yeah._ "

    She laughed and pressed her forehead against his ribs.

    "Oh my-- _oh my god_ , was that a _laugh_ , Kara Zor-El?" He said incredulously and she smiled.

    "Mhm..." She sat up and their noses brushed, "Don't let it go to your head." She said, leaning back as he tried to steal a kiss. She pressed a palm to his chest, and he was forced to lay back down, pouting as she put her chin back on his stomach.

    He swallowed after a moment. "Kara, I--" he swallowed, "--if this... if this is going to continue, we can't-- _I_ can't--uh..."

    She looked back and forth between his sharp gray eyes, softened by the darkness around them. One on her palms ran over his cheek, watching as his eyelids slipped closed. She knew what he was asking; she knew he was telling her that this was it, if she was going to be with him, then she had to _be_ _with him_. This meant she couldn't try and protect him like before; couldn't shove him away or make him walk out the door if she was trying to hurt herself.

    "Then don't." She breathed.

    A grin spread across his face, and he cupped her face, kissing her gently. "You are so... _so_ amazing, Kara."

    She laughed, "I bet you say that to all the girls."

    "Nope," he said softly, "just you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOYED!! Thanks for reading and thanks especially to Katie, AnAverageGirl15, emilaysjonas, thoroughlytrash, jeymien, Karamel_fangirl_emarasmoak, Sunflower_Nation (I'm so glad you think so, love, I try and draw from my own experiences), and xrisapotter for the lovely comments on chapter 11! xoxo


	13. Let it Happen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE DON'T MURDER ME GUYS, I KNOW I'M HELLA LATE (I was in a funk but I'm out of it!)
> 
> DO  
> NOT  
> SPOIL  
> ANYTHING  
> BECAUSE  
> I  
> AM  
> REALLY  
> REALLY  
> R E A L L Y  
> BEHIND  
> ON  
> THE  
> SHOW!
> 
> I KNOW Y'ALL WANT TO CRY AND ME TOO BUT I GOTTA KNOW WHAT I'M CRYING ABOUT FIRST!!

It was not a straight correlation from the immense and suffocating self-doubt swallowing her whole to the small, almost insignificant--but all the more important because of its size--idea that maybe, just _maybe_ , she could be the person she was before--the _hero_ she had been before. After all, people never ever really change; they only experience new things. How they chose to deal with these new experiences makes all the difference.

So, here she found herself, standing in this small alcove, tucked away in the DEO, looking at a tall, glass, case. Inside, she was staring at a replica of the suit she used to wear. It was almost a perfect match to her old one, although it was lacking in the holes and dirt she remembered vividly. She could swear that the fabric was just slightly different, and there was no cape. She thought about hers, where it was kept; neatly folded in a box in the back of one of her dresser doors.

There was a small plaque next to the display, and it read:

_In honor of Supergirl. She showed the world how to believe in, accept, help, and above all trust people who were not of this planet._

_September 22nd, 1996 - Missing in Action Since March 28th, 2017._

Winn had said, the day he’d shown her this memorial, that all of the new agents were trained based off her example. They were shown her reports, taught by Alex and J’onn, who’d worked closely with her. They had re-created the entire program around her methods of diplomacy; looking at aliens as friends first instead of enemies.

She walked through the building, and no one knew who she was behind those frames. There was something about it that made her feel uneasy, and almost unsafe. When she’d walk in the city during her lunch hour, she felt almost… followed. In the morning when she’d wake up for work, and Mon-El would still be dead asleep, spread out across her mattress like a starfish, she’d stoop down and press a soft kiss in between his brow, smiling as he moved drowsily. In those moments, she could feel someone’s eyes watching her from outside her bedroom window.

Her therapist told her that it was anxiety. She believed that Kara was worried about being found again, and was becoming more and more paranoid. She suggested that when Kara senses these waves of emotion coming on, that she should try and talk to herself; tell her mind that she was safe, and that she was capable of protecting herself, and that she was not alone. She imagined that it was like the way she had to calm herself down; it would take a while to start working.

She stepped across the threshold, and looked into the apartment. He sat on the couch, leaning forwards onto his knees and holding an old book in front of his nose. He didn't seem to notice her, the literature and the music playing gently over the scene capturing his full attention.

Something rushed over her; a wave of some sort. She leaned against the door and closed it, watching him. He began to turn his head, finishing the last line and scratching his chin pensively. He looked up at her expectantly, pausing mid-caress.

“Hey,” she said softly.

He closed his book slowly, a smile echoing hers. “Hi.”

She dropped her bag down and took off her coat. Her eyes never left his, and she could feel her cheeks flushing slightly. She leaned back against the door, and he sat deeper into the couch, a smile creeping onto his face. She began to beam, and he laughed,

“What?” He asked abashedly.

“Oh, nothing,” She shook her head, walking over and plopping down next to him.

He put his arm up above her, and she picked up his book, studying it. He watched her, a small expression of wonder in his eyes.

“I just,” She looked up into his face, “I like coming home to you.”

His lips parted ever so slightly, and she stared at him bravely. Mon-El had never had anyone look at him they way she does. He’d been with many, _many_ people in his short life, but there was something undeniably different about her. Those cool blue eyes seemed to have softened when they got to Earth, becoming more like the ocean, and less like a storm. Even before, in those horrible rooms, something about her stare was so warm it almost burned his skin.

Perfection is in the eye of the beholder. This is just a fact, that all people around the world have become accustomed to in their own way. It wasn’t until the first time she held him-- _really_ held him--that he’d felt peaceful. He hadn’t realized until the moment she’d taken his head and pulled it to her heart that he’d felt nothing. It was a true moment of bliss, so extreme emotions would not be able to burden him.

He wrapped his arm about her shoulders, pulling her closer. She gave him a goofy smile, and he chuckled, cupping her cheek. His nose brushed against hers and he kissed her.

It took them only moments before they found themselves in her bed. He leaned down from above her, scooping her up by the cheek and kissing her slowly. She relaxed into the cotton sheets, and closed her eyes. His mouth moved then. It came carefully down onto her jawline, then down just below it on her neck. On the fabric below them, his palms made barely audible noises, his fingertips sliding further and further down them as he adjusted position. Her hands began to tangle preemptively into the pillows.

Minutes later, there came a knock at the door. They pulled apart abruptly, and looked up. Out from under the covers, she lifted her hand, rubbing his cheek, and pressing a soft kiss on his lips. He sighed, smiling, and stood, grabbing a t-shirt off of her desk chair. She sat up on her elbow, and smirked, staring shamelessly at his ass.

“Hey,” he grinned, pulling on his shorts, “I’m up here.”

She laughed gently, falling back against the pillows, and running a hand through her hair. She sighed, catching her breath. She could hear his footsteps, light and happy, moving towards the front entrance. She closed her eyes, and the metal door creaking open tiredly.

“Mon-El,” A surprised voice said, and Kara sat up straight, “I--I wasn’t expecting you--”

Kara stumbled out of her room, wrapping a towel around her head. She’d rushed into her bathrobe, and began to act as though she’d been in the shower. Coming out of her room, she was relieved that Mon-El had managed to find his pajama pants somewhere before receiving her sister.

“--Alex?” She interrupted, and the woman turned from Mon-El, her tense shoulders relaxing as she spotted her sister.

“Hey, I’m really sorry to do this, but I _need_ a favor.” Alex said, and as Kara grew closer, her sister turned to look out into the hall.

The two aliens poked their heads out the doorway, spotting a small figure sitting in one of the armchairs there. Raimy was fidgeting with a few legos, wrapped up in her work.

Mon-El began to grin, and he jerked his head back to face Alex, “ _Yes._ ”

“Really?” Alex’s face brightened and Kara frowned, obviously nervous.

“Can’t you get a sitter?” Kara asked.

“I barely had enough time to come by and ask you, Kara.” Alex replied, there’s an extremely important situation at the DEO and Maggie is on duty until tomorrow morning.”

“Is everything okay? What’s going on at the DEO?” Kara asked worriedly.

Alex swallowed, “I’m sorry, Kara, it’s--it’s classified.”

“Oh, right.” Kara looked down and bit her lip.

Mon-El’s hand enveloped hers and he nodded, “We understand. We’ll be happy to watch over Raimy.”

“We will…?” Kara looked up at Mon-El and he looked down.

“We won’t?” He said, “Sorry--”

“--No, it’s okay--”

“--You’re right, it’s your house, you choose--”

“--Mon-El, really it’s fine--”

“--I just really want to help--”

“--No, I know you do, and I do too--”

“--You do?”

“Yeah, of course I do.”

“Oh, well me too.”

“It’s settled then.” Kara said. They both nodded once and turned to Alex. “We’ll be happy to watch over Raimy.”

Alex blinked. “I--okay.”

She walked over and Kara watched anxiously as she scooped up her child. Mon-El took the backpack off of Alex’s shoulder, and caught a lego just as Raimy dropped it. He gave it back to her, and was rewarded with a smile. Receiving the small girl, he began to walk into the apartment again, cooing softly to her.

“Kara, are you sure you’re okay with this?” Alex crossed her arms, watching Mon-El sit her daughter down on the couch.

“Yeah, of course.” Kara nodded, tucking her hair behind her ear.

“Okay.” Alex nodded, giving her sister’s shoulder one last rub before she turned away.

“I, uh,” Kara cleared her throat. She paused, trying to formulate words.

“Kara, I’m really sorry, but I have to go.” Alex said, trying to urge her to speak faster.

Kara only shook her head. “Good luck, Alex.”

Alex smiled quickly and then began to jog towards the stairs. Kara thought for a second then, leaning against her open door. She didn’t know what exactly it was she wanted to say to her sister then, she only acted on an almost primal urge to speak. She blinked and turned, stepping into her home once more.

Mon-El was back in that spot on the couch, this time though, he was joined by Kara’s niece, who was currently showing him the magic of legos. Kara cocked her head then, watching the pair of them; his furrowed brow and darting eyes as they stole glances at the two-year-old, trying to copy her actions with the small toys. Raimy’s small hand reached up then, and he let her take the few he’d put together and try and mash it with hers. He beamed down at her, and leaned back, listening to her nonsensical speech as if it were Shakespeare.

His eyes lifted, meeting hers. His big smile was still there, and it was if he was making sure she wasn’t missing this typically mundane moment in a child’s life. It was one of a million small moments that were to come in Raimy’s life, but to him, it was so important; important enough to share with Kara. He didn’t want her to miss a _second_ of it, and it wasn’t even his kid.

It was then, that Kara envied the woman who bared his children; she would be lucky.

* * *

Kara laid on her back, looking at Raimy as she lifted her up and down. The front door opened and Mon-El bustled in, a grin on his face, cheeks flushed ever so slightly. She straightened, and Raimy waddled over to him.

Recently, on his way home from work, Mon-El had discovered bagels. It was his new favorite thing to bring home to her when he had the late shift on Friday nights. Dropping the brown bag and his keys on the table, he caught Raimy and brought her up to say hello. She grabbed at his face, and he chuckled, giving her a hand to play with instead.

Kara stood, grabbing the bag and beginning to unpack it.

“Here,” Mon-El began, putting Raimy down on the counter, “I can do that--”

“--No, no,” Kara smiled, “it’s alright, really. Besides, I think she missed you.”

He beamed, turning back to the little girl, and again, Kara found herself watching them. Whatever it was that caused Alex and Maggie to need a sitter, had begun to last longer than predicted. Not that either of her parents had given a real, concrete time for when they would be picking up their daughter, but the two aliens had presumed they’d be around at least by Saturday morning, having dropped Raimy off late Thursday night.

This, of course, did not make them negligent or poor parents in any way. The pair were as busy as they come; dealing with alien and domestic threats were in both of their job descriptions. Seeing as the NCPD had begun a new partnership with the DEO for special circumstances at the end of last year, now both women were required to work together more. They didn’t mind that so much, just that they were having to leave their daughter with a practical stranger now and then.

Kara had a job that was--not to be rude in any way, or to belittle the importance of bartending--a bit more proper than Mon-El’s. As much as she would like to bring in Raimy to work, and have her play with her toys on her office floor, she knew that she could not keep a proper eye on her whilst running all about with prints and layouts. Mon-El was happy to bring her to the alien bar during his daytime shift.

Once she got off work on Friday, Kara had gone over, finding the pair of them behind the bar. She sat on a shelf next to him, and he had pulled a stood back there, sitting right next to her. In his hand, he had a very tattered copy of _The Sorcerer’s Stone._ As she paused, Kara could hear him as he was reading it softly to Raimy. She was very focused on her legos, building a small tower in front of her crossed legs. Mon-El would pause every once and a while, sounding out a word he’d never seen before.

Kara had pulled out her phone then, and taken a picture, sending it to her sister with the caption: “ _I hope you’re okay with this._ ”

She’d smiled then, stepping out of the doorway and walking over to him. His eyes had lifted from the page, and a grin had spread across his face. Standing, he’d picked up Raimy, setting her down in between them.

“ _I hate to steal her away_ ,” Kara had teased.

“ _Oh, that's alright, Harry Potter was making her sleepy_.” He had looked down at Raimy, who had gazed back up at him curiously. All together, she'd truly been saddened by the idea of stealing Raimy away from him, but toddlers have to sleep.

“You want a bagel, Raimy?” Mon-El grinned, as she tried to examine his breakfast.

They were sitting at her dining room table, next to each other on the side facing the windows. Raimy sat on the one of Kara’s knees that was near Mon-El’s. She was leaning over, trying to touch his bagel, and his elbow was getting dangerously close to the orange juice that was on the edge of the table.

“Mon-El,” Kara laughed, “watch your glass.”

“Ooh, you’re right,” he turned, moving it to safety and pausing momentarily his attention to Raimy.

“Mew, Mew, Mew,” Raimy said, reaching out to him.

He turned back abruptly, and looked up at Kara. She covered her mouth then, hiding a smile. “No way,”

“Me?” He pointed to his chest and Raimy made no indication that he was incorrect.

“Mew,” She reached for his bagel again and he laughed.

“Oh, I see! You only want my food!” Mon-El brought it to his mouth and Raimy slumped against Kara’s side.

“Hey,” Kara said gently, picking up a piece of mango off her plate and offering it to the two-year-old, “here, sweetie, try this.”

Raimy took it carefully from Kara’s hand, and then dropped it onto the ground.

“Raimy!” Kara chastised, starting to bend forwards to pick it up, but Mon-El beat her to it.

He put it on the edge of his plate, and Kara got the little girl’s attention. “Here, honey, look.”

She picked up another piece of fruit and popped it into her mouth. She made an exaggerated face of joy, nodding and saying “ _mmmm…_ ” Curious, Raimy took the next bit that was offered to her and ate it. She chewed carefully, and then looked up into her aunt’s smiling face. She lifted a small hand, opening and closing her fingers, asking for more.

Mon-El leaned against the table, and it was the perfect tableau; a couple with a child, in awe of not only the small being but each other, sitting at their dining room table on a lazy, Saturday morning.

Suddenly, the building began to shake. Mon-El’s fingers dug into the table then, his heartbeat rising. Kara stood, instinctively pulling Raimy closer to her chest. The quaking subsided, but their hands began to shake. Raimy gripped Kara’s hair, but she didn’t even feel it, her head spinning. She could feel it welling up inside her chest; the terror.

The world began to vibrate again, and they slumped to the ground, covering Raimy as best they could. Mon-El’s forehead was pressed against Kara’s, and his fingers quivered, searching for hers on the carpeted floor.

She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to count to ten in a consecutive order, but all she could think of was her tunnel vision and the pulse echoing in her ears.

“ _Kara,_ ” A voice suddenly said, and she peered up, looking into Mon-El’s face.

“ _One,_ ” she said, hearing something race past their window, “ _two._ ”

He opened his eyes, his breath coming out quick, and shallow. “ _Three._ ”

“ _Four._ ” She said, nodding, as he continued.

“ _Five, six--_ ” He began, but it was too fast, so she slowed him down.

“-- _Seven._ ”

He took one long breath with her, the world becoming louder and louder then. “ _Eight._ ”

They could hear gunshots in the street, and something like a rocket flying around.

“ _Nine._ ” He breathed, his voice even, her tunnel vision subsiding.

“ _Ten._ ”

* * *

Alex could not tell Kara the truth about all of the facets of the incident, even if it was for press reasons. All she could do was take Kara by the hand, and thank her for watching Raimy while it got settled.

“Did anything happen?” Maggie asked, as Alex greeted their daughter.

“Well, she’s decided to call Mon-El ‘Mew’ and I’m ‘Kat’ but other than that, no.” Kara beamed.

Alex laughed, turning so that Raimy was facing her aunt, “Say ‘bye-bye, Auntie Kara!’”

Raimy waved as if she were a bit confused, but it was adorable nonetheless. Her mothers both laughed in unison, beaming at their daughter adoringly.

“Alright well,” Maggie touched Kara’s shoulder in that friendly way she always does, “thank you again.”

“It was my pleasure.” Kara beamed.

Alex turned to her, “Thank Mon-El for us too!”

Kara nodded, “Of course! He’ll miss her.”

“Oh, I’m sure she’ll miss you both as well!” Maggie smiled, “No doubt you spoil her.”

“Only a little.” Kara smirked.

As Alex and Maggie walked away with their daughter, Kara crossed her arms. She turned into the apartment, and shut the door slowly. Looking up, she found the living room’s window ajar. She cocked her head slightly. She walked over and latched it shut, spinning on her heel casually.

On her counter, there was a piece of paper, a blue, wax candle burning a deep, maroon flame. She picked it up, her brow furrowed. Unfolding the sheet, Kara found a note, neatly sprawled onto the page. It read as follows:

_A moth is beautiful and delicately construed,  
_ _Floating gently above the air,  
_ _Achieving a beauty rarely seen by other creatures.  
_ _Finding her will make her go wild;  
_ _She will begin flying around and around in circles,  
_ _Until she is eventually met with the sour end of a folded newspaper._

_The spider is calculating and clever,  
_ _Her web spanning across small corners,  
_ _Hidden in tidy alcoves.  
_ _It takes man many moons to find her,  
_ _For that is her plan all along;  
_ _Everyone underestimates the quiet ones._

_It is not the moth--  
_ _Who fears for her safety and wastes her time on trivial moments--  
_ _who is able to escape, Miss Danvers,  
_ _And it is not always the spider.  
_ _You now have a choice;  
_ _You have been found, Supergirl,_

_Which one are you?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mmmmhmhmmhmhmhmhmhmmhmhmhm yeah I know I stink.
> 
> Thank you all so so much for you patients! And expect a new chapter very soon! (I've already written it so don't worry, I'm not just saying that ;)
> 
> Special thanks to the lovely people who left kudos on this story and to ImCamBass, emilaysjonas, xrisapotter, jeymien, Karamel_fangirl_emarasmoak, Moongrim, Sunflower_Nation <3 and katie who left comments on chapter 12! You guys are all so amazing, and I am so glad to have such a kind, and supportive audience for this story! I was also really glad to hear that you liked Calla! I have been planning to have more of her in the story, but it was only if you guys were into that, and I'm SO glad that you seem to be!
> 
> xo


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